LeeHotti.com: God bless the internet

[Tucker Max]

http://www.leehotti.com/index.htm

That site is fucking hilarious. You MUST check out the pics:

http://www.leehotti.com/originals.htm

[Mike Gill]

All bow down to king of the douche bags:

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg35036ni.jpg

[FreshmanBob]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/344345019_l.jpg


Ahahahahaha!!! It looks ever gayer without gel!

[UncleKG]

They'd make a great gay boy band. I shall name them, "Perpetually surprised."

Also, I vote that the hairstyle forevermore be known as the "Buckwheat."

[Jerkoff]

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like latent homosexuality.

http://myspace-070.vo.llnwd.net/00386/07/06/386196070_l.jpg

[Moist Panties]

There is so much wrong with this guy.
Lets start with the "Thanks for being born" shout-out he gives to his fellow Gotti-wannabe's. Next we can move onto Eyebrow waxing, powdered bronzer, eyeliner used to draw in facial hair, and the puckered lip perma-pose.

[Jerkoff]

Whatever--if he was black, you'd have already slept with him.
Hell, who's to say she hasn't already? He already has the afro and the brownish-orange skin.

[NavyPilot]

Now, is that Le Tigre or Magnum? Or have they finally perfected Blue Steel?

[Blaine]

Just when I thought they couldn't get any worse, the Hotti's went and proved me wrong:

[Bevo]

The most ridiculous part is that these pictures first appeared on this (http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=322041&page=1&pp=20)
message board, looks like some type of Martial Arts discussion. Why in the name of everything that is holy would you post homoerotic pictures of yourself on a MARTIAL ARTS MESSAGE BOARD? These are the type of people that make me favor eugenics.

[Moist Panties]

Hell, who's to say she hasn't already? He already has the afro and the brownish-orange skin.
Brownish orange? There is nothing brown about it. He looks like he bathed in Kraft Mac and Cheese packets.

[Mike Gill]

When all the Chess Kings closed up shop here in the early 90's they must have all moved to Northern New Jersey. Where the fuck else could you find such horrible clothes?

[FKA SH3]

The thread he links to in that MMA forum on his front page is hysterical. They don't rip on him too creatively, but one of the guys has this page (http://njguido.ytmnd.com) and this page (http://guidocide.ytmnd.com) in his sig.

I laughed for a good five minutes at the second one.

[Tim Capture]

Having never seen packs of douches like this before, it made me my head hurt. Imagine if you moved to a new town or was visiting a friend and went to a club filled with dudes like this. What would you do? Run away? Start shit?

I think my head would explode.

[NavyPilot]

WaTtTsSs uPpP To EvERy BoDY OuT TheRe... LeT Me JusT CLeaR SoMeThiNg UpP, My LaSt NaMe Is ReALLy HoTTi, I AiNT TryIn TO Be NeBoDY ELse THaTs JusT My LaSt NaMe I Am NoT ITaLiaN I Am ALbaNiAn..nd eVeRyBoDY WiT HoTTi NeXt To THeIr NaMe In My FrIenDs..ThoSe ArE ThEiR LaSt NaMeZ...JuSt HaD To ClEaR ThaT uPp~!!!!CoMMeNt On THe PaGe..GoOdLoOKiN..LaTa

I mean, that explains it all. It is his real last name guys, no funny here. Go on about your day.

[FKA SH3]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/3/136-3693_IMG.jpg

This is actually Discovery Channel footage of the guido mating ritual. These majestic creatures truly are a sight to behold.

[Tucker Max]

CLICK ON THIS LINK RIGHT NOW (http://njguido.ytmnd.com)

Blowing kisses the haterz--fucking genius.

[trippwalls]

Check out the armpit stain this guy is sporting. After purchasing hair products he did not have the funds to purchase antiperspirant.

I know it gets hot in the bar sometimes but I could play 4 quarters of basketball and not have a pit stain like that.

[Bevo]

CLICK ON THIS LINK RIGHT NOW (http://njguido.ytmnd.com)

Blowing kisses the haterz--fucking genius.

I got nothing. That is pure genius.

[Jerkoff]

Check out the armpit stain this guy is sporting. After purchasing hair products he did not have the funds to purchase antiperspirant.

I know it gets hot in the bar sometimes but I could play 4 quarters of basketball and not have a pit stain like that.
Cheap coke and 12 dollar vodka red bulls will do that to ya.

[Tucker Max]

I know who I am adding on MySpace:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28707875

[artificial]

This site (http://www.meetmeinto.com/events.asp) isn't that far off.

Which scares me, considering these are the people that populate my city. What’s worse is that it’s for real. They’re not even trying to be funny.

[UncleKG]

On his MySpace profile, there's so much great material.

Income: $250,000 and higher (proving that Gay porn does pay well)

Thoughts first waking up: Damnnnn! I got a huge boner! (buried deeply in my ass)

Do you like thunderstorms: Sometimez...when I'm not caught outside in them (which proves his parents theory that he is, in fact, too dumb to come in out of the rain)

Number of things in my past I regret: I don't regret nothing as long as I learn from it (we'll overlook the grammar and just guess he'll be modifying this line to read "posting a pic to Sherdog.com")

[footinmouth]

I believe this qualifies as "Stretching" before these homos go out for the night.

[AaronPB]

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a137/BiGLeeThaL/NOGOTTI.jpg

I think he has an ego problem...I didn't realize that he set his own trends like the popped collar and spiked hair.


Check out his friend Richie Rich:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=15273627

[Drunken DJ]

Is it just me or does it appear the he is using way too much "Tan in a bottle"? A good tan is fine, but looking like an orange hobgoblin is not.

[Tonyo33]

Is this girl (http://dommy.ytmnd.com/) related to the blueberry king?

Is it just me or does it appear the he is using way too much "Tan in a bottle"? A good tan is fine, but looking like an orange hobgoblin is not.

After spending the first 21 years of my life in Northern New Jersey, that's not a fake tan. That's the product of going to the tanning salon where the guidettes work at least 5 days a week, and using tanning oil in the summer time.

[IamRob]

In regards to their main pic, I love how the caption is "Pic of me and mah boys up in Jersey - Just hanging out right before UFC 56."
And I love even more how EVERY single guido douchebag is full of shit when it comes to fighting. No seriously. I've never seen any guido fight. Ever. I don't think they do. Here is what I have seen them do though when confronted:

Stand straight up on their toes to try and look down at the other person calling them “white.”

Talk really loud in Italian to their friends while their friends laugh it up, and no one else can understand them so that makes it funny.

Talk in pretend Italian. (I’ve seen this, seriously) 50% of the guidos in NJ are full of shit. A lot of them have maybe one parent who’s Italian. They don’t know the words but pretend they do. You’d be surprised how much this shit happens. It’s hilariously sad.

I’ve seen one get a heart attack.

I feel I have to somehow apologize for these idiots to everyone. Like when I see commercials for "Growing up Gotti," I feel the strange urge to use their skin as lampshades like in the Holocaust. But then I'd realize that nobody would want a constant orange glow in their house all the time.

[TheGC]

post

HATER

[Tucker Max]

HATER

You are a retard. It's pronounced: HATERZ

[bytor2112]

He is not wearing this shirt....he can't be....

[Mike Gill]

Income: $250,000 and higher (proving that Gay porn does pay well)


There is no way you can make that much money working in the mall selling cell phones, windshield chip repair, or designer fragrances.

[FKA SH3]

There is no way you can make that much money working in the mall selling cell phones, windshield chip repair, or designer fragrances.

"Eyyyy, fuck youse, bro. My cousin Joey has a tight landscapin' bidness and we are fuckin' runnin' Carlstadt. You hea me, kid?"

[Jerkoff]

I feel I have to somehow apologize for these idiots to everyone.
You don't have to lie. We all know you break out the roofing tar every weekend and go clubbin' with your boys on the Shore.

[trippwalls]

ive been living in jersey for 24 years and i have come to accecpt most people as they are. i may not allways like it. but i will stand up for your right to look like a goddamned electrafied peterpuffing porcupine.

....

I wish I could take credit for that description.

[KillaCam2]

A couple quotes from "the man himself":

'if u wanna start somethign u better be ready to deal with us'

'keep talkign shit all of u, my boys will show u wahts up'

and last but not least
'whenever other guys say that i look gay it is because they really find me hot and are tryign to mask their feelings by acting overtly aggressive.'


I really can't settle on a particular aspect of this guy to denigrate, so here are some additional YTMND sites instead:

http://guidodance.ytmnd.com/
http://peanutbutterguido.ytmnd.com/

[IamRob]

There is no way you can make that much money working in the mall selling cell phones, windshield chip repair, or designer fragrances.

No no no no no no. That's their DAY JOBS. Don't you get it? Behind the scenes they are extorting pizza shops because they're part of the mafia...at least that's what they say and are not afraid to tell you about in conversation at a bar because they'll "make you disappear like Hoffa" with a snap of their tan oily fingers.
That's another thing you hear a lot when you go to places in Bergen and Passaic:

"Oh I make $xxxK a year."
"what do you do?"
"Oh I can't tell you."

From my experiences, people who talk about how much money they make per year using exactly numbers are usually full of shit, or were poor throughout their childhood. We'll go with option 1.
They're all full of shit. The truth is that they can afford to dress as well/ gay as they do because a huge portion of them live with their parents, work full time at a retail store, and leech off of ugly rich sugar mamas.

[smurfette]

He is not wearing this shirt....he can't be....
Which damn one? This makes me thankful for Southern, Redneck, Wal-mart wearing men.

[annabanana]

Which damn one? This makes me thankful for Southern, Redneck, Wal-mart wearing men.

Honey, you said a mouthful -- I'm reading this thread thinking how grateful I am for flannel shirts, Buck's Buckrub baseball hats and Carhartt rugged outerwear apparrel.

My one question, seriously, why do they stick their chins toward the ceiling and look down their nose? Is that so their friends can check to make sure they don't have a "bat in the cave" or what?

[jess]

Talk in pretend Italian. (I’ve seen this, seriously) 50% of the guidos in NJ are full of shit. A lot of them have maybe one parent who’s Italian. They don’t know the words but pretend they do. You’d be surprised how much this shit happens. It’s hilariously sad.

According to his Myspace profile, his heritage is ****AlBaNiAn****

Myspace (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28707875)

[IamRob]

According to his Myspace profile, his heritage is ****AlBaNiAn****

Well if Carlos Mencia can pretend to be Mexican, I don't see why this guy can't pretend to be Italian.
I knew there was something wrong with him when I saw his face covered in freckles.

[Drunken DJ]

He is clearly trying to pass as a guido. The fact he's not Itallian, just makes it funnier.

[FKA SH3]

Well if Carlos Mencia can pretend to be Mexican, I don't see why this guy can't pretend to be Italian.
I knew there was something wrong with him when I saw his face covered in freckles.

He's not pretending, he actually won the auction on eBay when I sold my rights to being a New Jersey Italian.

[Jerkoff]

He is clearly trying to pass as a guido. The fact he's not Itallian, just makes it funnier.
He's a ginger. A ginger fucking guido. We need to think of some term for these wannabe guidos...something like wigger or banana/twinkie.

Unless one already exists, in which case I'd love to hear it.

[Tonyo33]

My one question, seriously, why do they stick their chins toward the ceiling and look down their nose? Is that so their friends can check to make sure they don't have a "bat in the cave" or what?

Its to look tough and intimidating. Notice how they don't smile for the most part?

And most of them will smoke Parliments or Newports if they smoke.

[Bossanova]

When it comes to editing photos of douchebag guidos via Paint, I have undeniable prowess. Sort of like a combination of a neurosurgeon and Van Gogh, only far more skillful than either one.

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/6899/imgp050726pz.jpg

[IamRob]

He's a ginger. A ginger fucking guido. We need to think of some term for these wannabe guidos...something like wigger or banana/twinkie.

Unless one already exists, in which case I'd love to hear it.


McCuido?

[FKA SH3]

My one question, seriously, why do they stick their chins toward the ceiling and look down their nose?

When you're 5' 6" (wearing boots), you need all the help you can get to look taller, yo.

[Grimmy]

What. The. Fuck?

White headbands are back in style and no one told me? Fuckers!

[Jerkoff]

McCuido?
Does that come with cheese?

[IamRob]

Does that come with cheese?

Well since they aren't Catholic, are you counting the smegma on their uncircumcised penises?

[Mask]

This kid wants to be a SuCCeSSfUL LaWyEr (listed under HoTTi's Interests). Maybe Tucker could give him a few pointers.


Future lawyer (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28707875)

[grumf]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg66552jp.jpg

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, he's got his name tattooed in Chinese.

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg53130tt.jpg

Is that a woman’s tank top?

[HMbroken]

Well if Carlos Mencia can pretend to be Mexican, I don't see why this guy can't pretend to be Italian.
I knew there was something wrong with him when I saw his face covered in freckles.

From the MySpace profile (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28707875):What country would you most like to Visit: ItaLy

It looks like they had something blow up in their faces in a Looney Tunes cartoon:

[bytor2112]

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, he's got his name tattooed in Chinese.


Yeah and apparently he's in the middle of getting his blood pressure checked. That sleeve is tighter than a fucking hemostat.

[dano]

http://myspace-038.vo.llnwd.net/00192/83/07/192647038_l.jpg

I guess he's trying to look like a lesbian.

[grumf]

I guess he's trying to look like a lesbian.

There are some serious candidates for the butch-femme calendar, that pics got miss November written all over it.

[alkizz]

"ok guys... just act natural"

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg53130tt.jpg

[dano]

http://myspace-535.vo.llnwd.net/00230/53/59/230639535_l.jpg

Awww, did poor little Hotti smear his lipstick?

[valeo]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg53130tt.jpg

Is that a woman’s tank top?

Regardless of it is or isn't, thats the other part of their "tough guy" wardrobe. If they aren't wearing striped shirts, they go to the other extreme and wear tank tops. Then, like Rob said, if you make fun of them, look at them weird, stand near them, etc. they start talkin shit to you to look big in front of their friends. They think this makes them look tough and desirable to, in the words of another poster, all the other female "orange hobgoblins" in the club. They will never, however, actually fight, that would mess up their hair.

Also, has anyone seen any of the many True Lifes on MTV Featuring our favorite visitors from up north? My favorite moment is the Guido guy who is getting married and runs down the street in his tux threatening to gut his limo driver for getting stuck in traffic. Classy.

PEtrainer EDIT: Normally you would get a one day ban for posting a rep comment in this space.

[Nomad]

Holly Shit, is that dude (term probably used incorrectly) crying? What did they take away from him? His favorite stripped shirt or his guido orange crayola face paint.

[SuperCharger]

Also, has anyone seen any of the many True Lifes on MTV Featuring our favorite visitors from up north? My favorite moment is the Guido guy who is getting married and runs down the street in his tux threatening to gut his limo driver for getting stuck in traffic. Classy.

I've unfortunately seen all of the MTV True Life Series involving people from Jersey. The image of a drunk guido threatening to kick someone's ass over an order of "cheese balls" at a local food stand has been seared into my memory forever.

[annabanana]

Holly Shit, is that dude (term probably used incorrectly) crying? What did they take away from him? His favorite stripped shirt or his guido orange crayola face paint.

No silly, he had to leave the party because someone else wore their steel-gray Italia sweatshirt to the party and he forgot to bring back-up threads.

*Seriously, I saw on a show somewhere but damned if I can remember exactly when that these guys carry extra changes of clothing in their cars in case someone has the same shit on.

[Blowmeup]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c387/TR00/hotti.jpg

[TankSF]

"I personally think the Hotti is frickin awesome - I am in awe of the phenomenon and wanted to create this place to pay homage to all the hawtness and the half a million people who have experienced it in one way or another, so far."

I too am in awe of the phenomenon. I am glad there is a place to pay homage to hawtness. Although I am a bit dubious about the claim that half a million people have 'experienced' that hawtness.

What exactly does it mean to experience the hawtness? Could I have experienced it and not know? Where do I sign up to wallow in the hawtness?

[DrunkenIndian]

No silly, he had to leave the party because someone else wore their steel-gray Italia sweatshirt to the party and he forgot to bring back-up threads.

*Seriously, I saw on a show somewhere but damned if I can remember exactly when that these guys carry extra changes of clothing in their cars in case someone has the same shit on.

Anna, I must respectfully disagree with your analysis of the situation. There is only one thing that can make a NJ guido cry that hard. Someone obviously keyed "Fag" into the side of his red Camaro.

[IamRob]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-103018846000620770&q=john%2Bhottie

[valeo]

Anna, I must respectfully disagree with your analysis of the situation. There is only one thing that can make a NJ guido cry that hard. Someone obviously keyed "Fag" into the side of his red Camaro.

No, it could have been keyed into their SUV too.

[Drunken DJ]

Two things. Both about the guy in the tank top.

1) Is he sucking his stomach in?
2) Is he drinking a seabreeze? they must be some hard motherfuckers to drinking that shit. That or he has a yeast infection.

[PatBateman]

Just for clarification...


http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c281/BeNNyHoTTi_718/NOGOTTI.jpg

[Trixie Hunter]

Remember Hobie from Baywatch? Well, he's looking pretty Guido these days...

[sliderusher]

http://myspace-070.vo.llnwd.net/00386/07/06/386196070_l.jpg[/img]

Anyone up for a game of tennis?

[Seanny Rotten]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-103018846000620770&q=john%2Bhottie
OH NO, THEY'VE GOT JONATHAN LIPNICKI (http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/2030/Events/2030/JonathanLi_Grani_1248207_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Lipnicki,%20Jonathan) FROM JERRY MAGUIRE!

http://thelonelyisle.net/JonathanLipnicki%20copy.jpg Seriously, he looks like the midget albino version.

[Mike Gill]

Leve the dude with the Seabreeze and the girls tank top alone. He actually has a disease. This is know to us professionals as ILS. He has a serious case of it. It stands for Imaginary Luggage Syndrome.

If you suffer from this disease your body has become disfigured and you take the shape of a porter walking around with huge suitcases in his hands.

[Placebo]

These guys remind me of something...

http://www.paulistanias.blogger.com.br/lumpa%202.jpg

http://www.paulistanias.blogger.com.br/lunmpa%201.jpg

[naic]

I dont know why this guy is even pretending to be straight...sorry but dont wear a mesh shirt, especially when you have man tits.
http://www.uploadhouse.com/images/914600432wtf.jpeg

This is one of my favorite photoshops from the Sherdog thread (Ive been watching it since page 60ish.)
http://www.dasmanity.com/images/memoires.jpg

The person who started the thread there, MarlboroMan, isnt actually one of those guidos in the pic..I think he just saw the potential of it. leehotti.com was set up by someone in the Sherdog thread as well.

[Blaine]

Leve the dude with the Seabreeze and the girls tank top alone. He actually has a disease. This is know to us professionals as ILS. He has a serious case of it. It stands for Imaginary Luggage Syndrome.

If you suffer from this disease your body has become disfigured and you take the shape of a porter walking around with huge suitcases in his hands.
I always called it "Imaginary Lat Syndrome". This is when one walks around with the elbows out (like the fag in the picture) like Jay Cutler, when in reality they are the size of his right quad.

[valeo]

I dont know why this guy is even pretending to be straight...sorry but dont wear a mesh shirt, especially when you have man tits.
http://www.uploadhouse.com/images/914600432wtf.jpeg

Oh wow, as I was scrolling down, I thought I had clicked the butch-femme thread by accident. Didn't realize that was supposed to be a guy.

[Blaine]

From the Sherdog thread:

[hi5]

Two things. Both about the guy in the tank top.

1) Is he sucking his stomach in?
2) Is he drinking a seabreeze? they must be some hard motherfuckers to drinking that shit. That or he has a yeast infection.

It looks like that "tank top" doubles as an apron when he's cookin up some absolutely delicious soufflé.

[NwYrkJm]

The worst part of this thread is I just had lunch with an italian friend who called me "stupid" for moving out saying I "wouldn't have enough money to go clubbing and shit."

It physically hurt to read this thread. Please tell me most girls aren't into guys who dress up like this.

[Powderboy]

The How To Instructional Video

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5993667996999295092&q=guido

[badkarma6]

Nobody has talked about the fine institution of higher learning that he attends, Sunny Westchester Community College (http://www.sunywcc.edu/home.htm). The best part about it is that he spells it "Commmunity," on his mysapce site. Somehow he is 19, in community college, and makes $250,000. Sure

[Sterling]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/1/336446945_l.jpg

If you're going to do the chinstrap, at least follow your jawline you lazy-eyed fuck.

[Tonyo33]

It physically hurt to read this thread. Please tell me most girls aren't into guys who dress up like this.

You'd be suprised at how many girls love these guys. They are just as widespread as the guys up there.

Basically they all have:

Necklaces with the names on it
4" long fingernails
Nose jobs
Fake boobs (ok so the boobs are a good thing)
They all want Audi's
They go tanning as much as the guys
They cake on their make-up, even if they're just going to the convienence store.
Wear jogging suits way too often
And they have to have long curly hair
And also love their Parliment 100's

[Jerkoff]

You know, it wouldn't be that difficult to get the Guidouchebag here. Just send him a message on MySpace saying a bunch of dudes are talking "Mad shit" about him and I'm sure he'd come a struttin'.

[scootah]

If you're going to do the chinstrap, at least follow your jawline you lazy-eyed fuck.

If you're going to do the chin strap, look at yourself in the mirror afterwards and ask yourself 'Does it look like somebody has been painting poop on my face?'

[Bevo]

Nobody has talked about the fine institution of higher learning that he attends, Sunny Westchester Community College (http://www.sunywcc.edu/home.htm). The best part about it is that he spells it "Commmunity," on his mysapce site. Somehow he is 19, in community college, and makes $250,000. Sure

Because he's "connected" yo, and you better watch your mouf or you gonna meet him and his boyz.

[Irish.]

I'm glad to see that the TMMB has all ready taken over the "Hotti" forums. Man I hope they come here and try to defends themselves, it will be priceless. The ownage will be off the richter scale.

[Mike Gill]

It physically hurt to read this thread. Please tell me most girls aren't into guys who dress up like this.

Thats the problem. These guys are getting laid by girls who are their female counter parts. The worst part of it is, the more guidoish they act the more of the guido girls they get. Most of these girls are filthy disgusting whores who are resaonably attractive, wear too much make up, and will do what ever these guys want. It is a vicious cycle, that can only be ended by NJ being given back to the Native Americans and turned into a giant swamp casino.

[alkizz]

Couldnt resist

http://home.comcast.net/~akizziah/pale.jpg

[Tonyo33]

It is a vicious cycle, that can only be ended by NJ being given back to the Native Americans and turned into a giant swamp casino.

You're going to have to give them Staten Island, Long Island, and parts of Queens too.

[thetrox]

I dont know why this guy is even pretending to be straight...sorry but dont wear a mesh shirt, especially when you have man tits.
http://www.uploadhouse.com/images/914600432wtf.jpeg

She's clearly a stripper, see that $20 on the left?

[MsPixieKitty]

The New Sopranos Season preview....

[Zambonian]

You're going to have to give them Staten Island, Long Island, and parts of Queens too.
Apparently, they're taking over Westchester, as well.

[Mike Gill]

You're going to have to give them Staten Island, Long Island, and parts of Queens too.

Good they can have them. Maybe it will lower my State Taxes that currently go to support their welfare babies, and unemployment during the winter when they laid off from landscaping.

[grumf]

Guidos go global!

http://www.xtcteam.net/Simages/HottiNews.JPG

Stolen fromm Lee Hotti.com

[IamRob]

Good they can have them. Maybe it will lower my State Taxes that currently go to support their welfare babies, and unemployment during the winter when they laid off from landscaping.

Dude they aren't poor. A lot of them are the opposite. They have the money because they're rich spoiled idiots who live with their parents. No class, yes. But not poor. It's because of that damn real estate boom on the Jersey Shore where you would be able to sell your one room bungalow for 800k.

[TankSF]

http://www.njguido.com/

My God! There they are all in one place wallowing in their fake tans and brillo creamed hair. We have to do something to stop this.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A13708-2003Jul5.html

I've never thought of the Washington Post as a bastion of great literature but this reads like something from Penthouse Letters. I think Libby Copeland, authour of Strutting Season, was a little into The Moo.

I would say this article casts the Guidos in a more positive light than Tucker's recent reviews. Something is really wrong here.

[DannyDeez]

I dont know why this guy is even pretending to be straight...sorry but dont wear a mesh shirt, especially when you have man tits.
http://www.uploadhouse.com/images/914600432wtf.jpeg


Time has not been kind to the Golden Child.

[CrazyCurious]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-103018846000620770&q=john%2Bhottie
Ok, how many of us have asked them to be on our my space friends list so that we can drop this link on their page for all to see???

[Thurmal]

Some classic responses to his MySpace profile:

Your weakness: myself
Hair color: Depends on what mood I'm in
Single or group dates: whatever's clever
Number of piercings: however many is sexy

[lurker]

wasn't njguido.com enough? now we need the kidde version of it? Puberty will hit soon buddy. At 150 lbs, you really aren't that tough.

[BushwickBill]

Is that a sleeveless blouse? (http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1679.jpg)

[thetrox]

http://njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%2014,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%2014%20026.jpeg

Is that a man on the left?

[Pillage5]

And the right, he/she would look more natural with a mustache.

[BushwickBill]

I can't tell whether those things under it's right arm are stretch marks, wrinkles, or pit hairs. Either way...

[drunkmick]

I am eerily fascinated by all this, like the Nazis at the end of "Raiders", I cant stop looking, even though I can feel my soul being sucked out and absorbed into their skin cancer-ridden complexions. Incidentally, the Chicago equivalents to the guidos are called Trixies and Chads, with very similar mating rituals and tastes, but usually more white-bread from upper-Midwestern towns and Big Ten colleges. They inhabit the area around Depaul University, specifically the Clark/Fullerton/Halsted/Armitage area, considered the capital of Assholistan.

http://www.lpchad.com/news.php?readmore=6

[alkizz]

Is that a sleeveless blouse? (http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1679.jpg)
separated at birth?

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1679.jpg http://www.nndb.com/people/380/000086122/burke.jpg

[annabanana]

Is that a sleeveless blouse? (http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1679.jpg)

Sleeveless blouse and WHITE BELT? Can you even buy a white belt anywhere besides Goodwill?

[Slutcakes]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1679.jpg

Doesn't this guy realize that his HGH gut makes him look pregnant?



Edit: For those who don't know, HGH = Human Growth Hormone

[Tonyo33]

I had no idea that Z Cavaricci's (http://www.jammfactory.net/z_cavaricci/) still existed. (The website is awful)

I still remember in grade school all the kids wanted them, so they could be like the cool older guido's.

[scootah]

People, if you are fat, or if you have friends like Carmine here, understand this very simple fact. If you have to do your belt up under your gut, your top layer of clothing should never be tucked in. Friends don't let friends go out with tucked in shirts and guts hanging over their belts (Friends also don't let friends wear ugly lace up blouses or white belts, but thats a sepperate screaming match).

[Havoc]

Sleeveless blouse and WHITE BELT? Can you even buy a white belt anywhere besides Goodwill?

They sell white belts all over down here in South Florida, even in the grocery stores.

And they are only 4 for $10 if your use your Mispucah dicount card at the Del Boca Vista gift shop!

[Method]

Christ, they even got Bill Nye the Science Guy.

http://www.grudge-match.com/Images/billnye.jpg http://leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg35187rs.jpg

[Placebo]

This website is such a great place for Halloween ideas. Or perhaps you can throw your own Guido party complete with delusional egos and failed dreams.

[thetrox]

http://leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg35187rs.jpg[/QUOTE]

Again, some extensive pit stainage. Maybe they should wear loser clothing?

[BamBoozled]

In some of the pictures, it looks like these guys have what alcoholics refer to as a "moment of clarity". They instantly understand the idiocy of what they're doing to themselves, and the same they bring upon their families.

However, they simply can't get out of the guido game, as they have no other groups of friends to run to. They've so isolated themselves with the orange "sonic the hedgehog" look and the preening and posturing bullshit that they're committed to it for life.

See this picture:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=5172&stc=1
And this one:
http://myspace-535.vo.llnwd.net/00230/53/59/230639535_l.jpg

For the first time in my life, aside from Sunday, I'm thankful I was born in Pittsburgh, where this type of shit can get you tortured and lynched.

[IamRob]

Christ, they even got Bill Nye the Science Guy.
http://leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg35187rs.jpg

I was thinking more along the lines of "Duddits" from DreamCatcher? You know? That retarded alien with leukemia?
http://www.donniewahlberg.com/41.jpeg

"It'sss time to say the woyld from Mistah Gay!!"

[markellm]

This is why cloning in a bad idea. They're like an army of oompa loompa's. For once, I'm glad I live in Maine.

[Mike Gill]

Doesn't this guy realize that his HGH gut makes him look pregnant?

That's awesome. I love when guys who have bodies that show signs of steroid abuse aren't even 200lbs.

[Placebo]

That's awesome. I love when guys who have bodies that show signs of steroid abuse aren't even 200lbs.

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1367.jpg

Is that what the "S" stands for?

[Method]

I was thinking more along the lines of "Dudditz" from DreamCatcher? You know? That retarded alien with leukemia?

"It'sss time to say the woyld from Mistah Gay!!"

Naw, Billy has eyebrows. Duddits reminds me more of Charlie Villanueva.
http://www.donniewahlberg.com/41.jpeg http://www.charlievillanueva.org/photos/picofdamonth/picofdamonth6-jun04.1.jpg

[lhprop1]

Dude they aren't poor. A lot of them are the opposite. They have the money because they're rich spoiled idiots who live with their parents. No class, yes. But not poor. It's because of that damn real estate boom on the Jersey Shore where you would be able to sell your one room bungalow for 800k.

Rob, you're a dago, right? And you're in NJ, right? I don't think I need to tell you what needs to be done.

Kids, we could be looking at our first real life infiltration/wahoo. You could videotape it. Just act like you do when you're pretending to be a fuzzy lover or bulldyke. Don't let us down.

[TheGC]

Rob, you're a dago, right? And you're in NJ, right? I don't think I need to tell you what needs to be done.

Kids, we could be looking at our first real life infiltration/wahoo. You could videotape it. Just act like you do when you're pretending to be a fuzzy lover or bulldyke. Don't let us down.

Hunk-a-bunkas here we come!!

"Grease me up woman..... I'm going in."

[lhprop1]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1367.jpg

Is that what the "S" stands for?

Holy shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Are those trap/shoulder pads?

[IamRob]

Rob, you're a dago, right? And you're in NJ, right? I don't think I need to tell you what needs to be done.

Light their hair on fire and watch them stop, drop, and roll into a pile of nails? Done and done. But actually, doing something to these people isn't a bad idea. They literally would never fight back. It's like kicking a cat with a gimp. It will just stay there and hiss at you...and shit itself. Of course I would have to go into one of those stupid clubs and listen to "Kernkraft" like 40 times.

And I prefer greasy wop goombah. Man, some people have no concept of respecting another person's culture.

[DrunkenIndian]

Holy shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Are those trap/shoulder pads?

Assfuckers like this are the reason I am the one person who actually stays in the city instead of fleeing to the Shore or Hamptons on weekends in the summer. I'm not done paying off LASIK and I don't want to lose an eye to hair gel shrapnel when this fucking yardape starts sweating and flailing his arms about in an anthropological circle jerk.

[CrazyCurious]

this picture...
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/a...ntid=5172&stc=1
totally reminds me of the band loverboy, when he had the red leather on and the matching headband.....but now I'm dating myself....could be dangerous here.

oops.....sorry that link doesn't seem to be working.

[BigWig]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/3/136-3693_IMG.jpg



There can be only one!

When Rob starts fucking with these guys, they are gonna be poppin' lockin' on yo ass HARDCORE! Prepare to get served is all I'm sayin.

[Method]

http://myspace-482.vo.llnwd.net/00074/28/43/74773482_l.jpg

This guy couldn't wait till the back room.

[Viking]

Thank God, that we don't have people like this in Denmark. We do, however, have these guys...

Meet two hardcore gangsta rappers. Meet Nik & Jay (of course not their real names, that would be Niklas & Jannik - but that dosn't sell records):

http://www.nikogjay.dk/images/album3/img2.jpg

People like this ruin my life. At least, their music does. You just don't make rap music in Danish. No wait, let me rephrase that. You just don't make rap music at all.

I should be shot for even calling it music.

[annabanana]

http://myspace-482.vo.llnwd.net/00074/28/43/74773482_l.jpg

This guy couldn't wait till the back room.

I have bath towels in those colors. COME ON.

[thetrox]

http://leehotti.com/images/originals/5/308578667_l.jpg

As much as I love Grey Goose, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to respect myself and drink it again after seeing this.

[Mike Gill]

As much as I love Grey Goose, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to respect myself and drink it again after seeing this.

The gayness of that picture is that those bottles appear to be empty. There is no way a bartender would let you touch those with booze in them, unless you paid for the entire bottle. In a Jersey club that is going to set you back $250 or more.

[PacificPhi]

Is that a sleeveless blouse? (http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/2/CIMG1679.jpg)

Blouse or not, it appears Robin Hood is batting for the other team now.

[HMbroken]

http://myspace-482.vo.llnwd.net/00074/28/43/74773482_l.jpg

This guy couldn't wait till the back room.I've seen gay people look less gay than that.

[syrferchyk]

I am very very disappointed in you all. How am I the only one who noticed Moo's Writings (http://www.njguido.com/writings.htm) ?????

I think it’s pathetic how this boy is trying to be really inspiring and smart, and really it just made me throw up in my mouth.

[TheGC]

The gayness of that picture is that those bottles appear to be empty. There is no way a bartender would let you touch those with booze in them, unless you paid for the entire bottle. In a Jersey club that is going to set you back $250 or more.

Plus they still have the pourers on. Real men free pour.

[HMbroken]

..

[lhprop1]

They don't know what it's like to hear Denny Tsettos rip "Shiny Disco Balls" for an hour to the point where the crowd erupts in energy.

I've never heard "Shiny Disco Balls," but I can guarantee you that if I did and it lasted for an hour, I'd rip Denny Tsettos head right from his neck.

[Sweet Lew]

It takes them an hour to erupt with energy because that's how much time passes until they figure out the song's complex lyrics:

Drugs and rock 'n’ roll, bad ass Vegas hoes,
Late-night booty calls and shiny disco balls.
Drugs and rock 'n’ roll, bad ass Vegas hoes,
Late-night booty calls and shiny disco balls.
Drugs and rock 'n’ roll, bad ass Vegas hoes,
Late-night booty calls and shiny disco balls.

Disco, disco, disco, disco, shiny disco balls,
Drugs, rockin, bad, Vegas, shiny disco balls,
Disco, disco, disco, disco, shiny disco balls.

Drugs and rock 'n’ roll, bad ass Vegas hoes,
Late-night booty calls and shiny disco balls.
Disco, disco, disco, disco...

[bigshowmack]

I did a nationwide white pages search for the last name Hotti, and there was only 4 listings. Hawaii, Montana, Cali, and Jamaica, NY. Definitely no one in Yonkers. I think the last name is made up in order to emulate the Gottis even more. That and Albanians don't have last names like hotti. They have last names like Tahirovic. Amusingly enough, the Jamaica, NY listing has the name Hotti Hotti. Sounds like a rub and tug.

[denimjacket]

Check out his friend Richie Rich:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=15273627

I'd read the whole thread, but I'm very lazy. Check this out in "Richie's" comment section, from some whore:

"heyy richie..i saw you were my friend on here..so i figured why not comment..lol alright and im sorry to hear about your grandfather..but ttyl"


I am at least relatively sure that this the one right after mine, right before this, is the last "functional" generation that America will produce. Seriously, after this, it's all slaves for the Chinese just waiting to happen.

I can't even begin to discuss how retarded that statement is... "Sorry your grandfather died, and... I'm spent.. no more "emotions" other than vapid."

[Saltlick]

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%2014,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%2014%20023.jpeg
The "girl" on the left looks like she went a round with Tyson with that fat lip. And for the other three....jesus.

[TankSF]

rich u know im holdin it down over here cuz...my bro from another mother...loll...we out new years eve cuz hollllllaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Hotti is trying to communicate with his friend Richie Rich via Myspace. Apparently neither speak common English allow me to translate.

"Rich I am holding myself down there. You are my special friend. loll(?) We are going to come out together on New Years. Yippeeeee!"

This may not be a direct translation but until we study this demented species further it is doubtful we will fully understand their language. I hate these 'people'.

[Saltlick]

SHIT. This guy apparently goes out of his way to get his picture taken with sub-humans.

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%2014,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%2014%20082.jpeg

[rumpleforeskin]

It looks like Marlboroman, Lee Hotti himself, has joined the forums on leehotti.com. This should get interesting fast.

Forum (http://leehotti.com/phpBB2/index.php)

[Whatsafrush?]

I simply cannot get over this phenomenon of the spiky hair. What the fuck is that? Which fucking rat bastard woke up one day, put 43 globs of gel in his hair, made it stand straight up, and thought "Hmm., that looks tight, dawg!"?? I ask you, which one!????!!!! Becasue that guy is up there with Hitler and Yanni.

[Snausages]

I'm having Icy Hot Stuntaz flashbacks...

http://www.stuntaz.com/

Respek!

[pilltaker]

I have never been to Jersey, but please tell me there are better people there than this....

This is great..

http://www.njguido.com/writings/nj_anthem.htm

[Canada_Girl]

You'd be suprised at how many girls love these guys. They are just as widespread as the guys up there.

Basically they all have:

Necklaces with the names on it
4" long fingernails
Nose jobs
Fake boobs (ok so the boobs are a good thing)
They all want Audi's
They go tanning as much as the guys
They cake on their make-up, even if they're just going to the convienence store.
Wear jogging suits way too often
And they have to have long curly hair
And also love their Parliment 100's


And when they 'age', no one can help them. (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/imagepages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20074.html)

[That Guy]

I love how half of the forum posts are just like this (http://leehotti.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=80)
Looks like Rob isn't even needed over there

[thetrox]

Posts by MarloboroMan at LeeHotti.com exemplifying his gayness:
1. You think its funny to make fun of me? I should kiss you...
2. f**k you man, I would f**k the s**t outta them right in front of your face, then kiss you for being such a guido hater. MUAH!
3. You two are hating so much, that I feel like giving you both a kiss...

When people talk shit to me I usually respond likewise, I don't kiss them, that's for sure.

[IamRob]

http://www.myspace.com/stright_guido
His myspace was posted a long time ago on the funny myspace profiles.
I just logged into my myspace account for the first time in months to find these messages from when a couple people on this board made fun of him:
YO YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD BE LIKE ME YOU FUCKING FAG. YOU KNOW U WANT THE LOOKS LIKE ME AND MY BOIZ.... YOU WISH YOU GOT PUSSY LIKE US EVERY NIGHT I WAS EATIN PASTA OFF YOUR MOM YO YOU KNO WHAT FUCK THAT YOUR MOM IS A 2 CENT HOE YOU FUCKIN BITCH. YO MY BOIZ IS FROM NY AND JERZY ILL FUCKIN SMASH YOU ANY TIME....

YOU KNOW YOU WANNA BE JUST LIKE US.. YOU PUSSY MUTHA FUCKER

yo buddy find a life than to friend people on myspace to crack on cuz kid if i eva see u ill make sure you neva walk agen kid step like a man insted of maken lil pages about me.

A "little page." I fucking love it. I don't think it would be the worst idea in the world if we fucked with him. I mean there's so much fuel here...Here's his pic:

[Canada_Girl]

http://www.myspace.com/stright_guido
His myspace was posted a long time ago on the funny myspace profiles.



Children: Proud parent


I'm sure his parents can't say the same...

[PeteWitt54]

SHIT. This guy apparently goes out of his way to get his picture taken with sub-humans.

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%2014,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%2014%20082.jpeg

Jesus CHRIST! That guy looks exactly like Gollum. All he needs is a raw fish in his mouth.

http://tofuhut.racknine.net/pics/gollum.gif

[NoCookiesForMe]

What the fuck is that on the left?

EDIT for clarification: on the far left.

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20077.jpeg

[PeteWitt54]

What the fuck is that on the left?



CHYNA!!!!

[Saltlick]

The guy on the left is probably thinking, " Why didnt I evolve like everyone else?"

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%2014,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%2014%20034.jpeg

[PacificPhi]

It looks like Marlboroman, Lee Hotti himself, has joined the forums on leehotti.com. This should get interesting fast.

Forum (http://leehotti.com/phpBB2/index.php)

I'll save you the trouble of shifting through a whole lot of bullshit. Here (http://leehotti.com/phpBB2/search.php?search_author=MALBOROMAN) is the listing of all his posts. I think my favorite is "You think its funny to make fun of me? I should kiss you..." Not helping your point much buddy.

[NoCookiesForMe]

Open these three pics in different windows and switch through them fast:

Pic #1 (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20106.jpeg)

Pic #2 (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20092.jpeg)

Pic #3 (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20112.jpeg)

Tough looking, huh?

[valeo]

http://www.myspace.com/stright_guido
His myspace was posted a long time ago on the funny myspace profiles.
I just logged into my myspace account for the first time in months to find these messages from when a couple people on this board made fun of him:

Wait, Rob, thats the kid that is going to make you "neva walk agen"? He looks scary. Better watch out. To his credit though, at least he doesn't abuse the fuck out of his caps lock key like his mouth-breathing brethren.

[HMbroken]

Open these three pics in different windows and switch through them fast:

Pic #1 (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20106.jpeg)

Pic #2 (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20092.jpeg)

Pic #3 (http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2005/December/December%2017,%202005%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Dec%2017%20112.jpeg)

Tough looking, huh?Photoshop is fun.

[DrunkenIndian]

http://myspace-482.vo.llnwd.net/00074/28/43/74773482_l.jpg

This guy couldn't wait till the back room.

At least they don't try to conceal their gayness in this one. I mean Jesus, look at that fag in blue on the right. Ok, to clarify since it's often difficult to pick a single sheep from the flock, that homo on the bottom right. Disturbing.

[OwenNZ]

I've never been so dissapointed with a group of people in my life. Look at all their douchebag attempts to drink alcahol. Wonder if we could make a list and submit it to them, the 'main guy' in their group pic has a Heineken with 50% foam, combined with their bottles with tips on, beer with straws.
Ugh...

[HMbroken]

The guy on the left is probably thinking, " Why didnt I evolve like everyone else?"

Yeah, right. Look at "everyone else" around him. At least he doesn't have the Sonic hair.

[OwenNZ]

He probably thinks that's what he is missing and is currently growing out a full sonic look.

[Saltlick]

Someone better tell this girl that this guy ate Lee Hotti and still apears to be hungry....GET IN MA BELLY!

I thought vertical stripes were supposed to be slimming?

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%207,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%207%20015.jpeg

[Saltlick]

I apologize before hand. Im going to link to this one, as this is Hottis gayest pic yet. WOW.

http://img52.exs.cx/img52/5149/carhot2hg.jpg

[MXYZPTLK]

Someone better tell this girl that this guy ate Lee Hotti and still apears to be hungry....GET IN MA BELLY!

I thought vertical stripes were supposed to be slimming?

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%207,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%207%20015.jpeg

What you don't see is the whole entourage hanging out in that guy's chin pre-gaming/fellating each other.

[NoCookiesForMe]

What you don't see is the whole entourage hanging out in that guy's chin pre-gaming/fellating each other.

That's a chin? I thought he had tried to eat a golf ball.

[valeo]

I thought vertical stripes were supposed to be slimming?


They are. Notice how her arm can't even make it to his far hip.

Apparently they have started poaching the cast for Beetlejuice. Anyone else think that this guy looks like Otho(Played by Glen Shadix)?

Glen Shadix (http://www.dragoncon.org/images/guest-photos/shadixg.gif)

[Jader]

That's a chin? I thought he had tried to eat a golf ball.

Touche!

I live in New York (actually, just a shitty white-upper-middle-class suberb of New York called Nassau county) and I see and deal with "Guidos" on a daily basis. The overly-tanned skin is bad. The identical haircuts are bad. However, the thick self-imposed deep brooklyn accent just makes me want to strangle them. It really does, you know they're faking it. But you don't know why, really, I find it hard to believe a girl will find that kind of voice-acting attractive at all.

[Simple and Stupid]

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f378/Mjlazaro22/425188629_m.jpg

Super Azns (Ricers) have better spikey hair. (not me, found it on myspace, couldn't find a better one but there are)

[Method]

http://myspace-283.vo.llnwd.net/00286/38/27/286007283_l.jpg

I just had to.

Come to think of it, who injected Dexter Holland with lard?

http://offspring.nite.lv/images/interview/dexnap.jpg

[villagebicycle]

Upon further inspection of his myspace, I realized all his female friends typed a zero instead of the letter 'o'. They should all eat a mouthful of exacto knives.

[twan]

I just want to know one thing... What in the HELL do they look like in the summer? Wait, I found it!?

http://www.andreaharner.com/archives/DonKingandHarmony.jpg

[tyga wooo]

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f378/Mjlazaro22/425188629_m.jpg

Super Azns (Ricers) have better spikey hair. (not me, found it on myspace, couldn't find a better one but there are)

riiight, because looking like a cartoon character is better than looking like a tool.

Is it that hard to just look fucking normal? The way I see it, if you dress in a crazy manner expecting to draw attention to yourself, you have to deal with both ends of the stick. Be prepared to be ridiculed.

[mrjake]

riiight, because looking like a cartoon character is better than looking like a tool.How 'bout both?

[Saltlick]

Or this.....straight from his "forum"

"Its peanut butter faggot time".......
http://leehotti.com/phpBB2/images/avatars/gallery/hotti/bananathumb.gif

[sporting16w]

Check this out:

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_hotti)

[JGB]

straight from http://njguido.com/health,_beauty_and_fitness.htm



" can master many basic movement skills, such as:
catching
rolling
bouncing
kicking and tossing a ball
jumping
hopping
skipping
pedaling a tricycle
galloping
"
I'm not sure why they have childrens excersizes instead of normal ones, I guess steroids really do most of the work , either that or they have serious issues beyond simply being turd burglars.

[Canada_Girl]

They get uglier. I didn't think it was possible. SHUT YOUR MOUTH SON! (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=11207506&imageID=421306878&Mytoken=AFEBE7FE-129D-14E2-CE59954A0F7107A92960549)

[Saltlick]

Notice the typical Scarface poster on the wall. Also his laptop seems to have all the recent camwhoring pics freshly loaded up. Cause thats super original. Im not even touching some of these comments.

[Saltlick]

They get uglier. I didn't think it was possible. SHUT YOUR MOUTH SON! (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=11207506&imageID=421306878&Mytoken=AFEBE7FE-129D-14E2-CE59954A0F7107A92960549)

Goddamit, I was getting ready to go to bed, and I happened to find this little treat leaving comments for him. FUCK. So much for sleeping in 2006.

http://myspace-917.vo.llnwd.net/00409/71/92/409022917_l.jpg

[grumf]

http://myspace-301.vo.llnwd.net/00429/10/39/429909301_l.jpg

Nice hair dryer, fag.

[thetrox]

http://myspace-301.vo.llnwd.net/00429/10/39/429909301_l.jpg

Notice the liquor bottles on the shelf. Looks like Hypnotiq, Bacardi Limon, something I don't know, Grey Goose, and Smirnoff Green Apple (Not sure on that one). Minus the Grey Goose and the one I don't know, these aren't alcohols that very many guys I know drink.

[NattyLight1128]

Notice the liquor bottles on the shelf. Looks like Hypnotiq, Bacardi Limon, something I don't know, Grey Goose, and Smirnoff Green Apple (Not sure on that one). Minus the Grey Goose and the one I don't know, these aren't alcohols that very many guys I know drink.

Um dude, notice the pink shirt, single studded Wal-Mart bling, and the simeon-esque jawline.

These characters are astounding.

[Kidney]

Holy Shit! DIII has a twin brother.

[Canada_Girl]

Goddamit, I was getting ready to go to bed, and I happened to find this little treat leaving comments for him. FUCK. So much for sleeping in 2006.

I found this one leaving comments on his blog. The caption for this picture reads, and I quote, " SEE FRANK iiM NOT NUDE! -kk thx. bye" I'm sure you will all agree that we should be thanking her. For not appearing nude anywhere, ever.

[ SiiCiiLiiAN♥BiiTCH ] (http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=11806240&imageID=411254997&Mytoken=5DB57450-D801-C957-D763FFA9163DA9F27947271)


About this fine specimen:

my liife iss full of laughtterr lol if ya know me really well then you kno im a Gooffball. lol wat can ya say ima libra that rele explains it all lol. i lovee liifee and i lovee boyss. im kinda a flirt. lol but if i hadd a bf id be serious and not dick arounddd but still b the same oldd funnny becca. lol sooo boyyss and themm chiccass outt there hit me up wit messages comments or picture comments. lol andd iff ya want my s/n then hit me up. lol iight peace


...ly dating a blind and deaf person.

[NattyLight1128]

http://myspace-997.vo.llnwd.net/00411/79/94/411254997_l.jpg
Holy fraggle rock batman. Is this what Korea is conjuring up with hybrid cloning?

I would go to the carnival just to pay money to strike this creature in the face with a spiked club.

[thetrox]

I posted this personal ad on Craiglist with the flock of guidos pic in the hetero-male section, but all I seem to be getting are propositions from dudes. Its a mystery.

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/m4w/126164055.html

iTs ObviOusLy bEcUz U dIdNt tYpE LikE tHIs, dIs iS waT tHa chIcKs DiG.

[Canada_Girl]

I am starting to be very thankful I live on the westcoast and in Canada.

[WeaselWag]

Notice the liquor bottles on the shelf. Looks like Hypnotiq, Bacardi Limon, something I don't know, Grey Goose, and Smirnoff Green Apple (Not sure on that one). Minus the Grey Goose and the one I don't know, these aren't alcohols that very many guys I know drink.

Its late, and I have NO clue how to spell either but it looks like Amaretto, specifically Dissarono. I know 1 guy who drinks it. We make fun of him for it a LOT.

[Canada_Girl]

Alright, this has got to be in the 'top ten of flatout fags'. Please note the 'FCUK' tanned onto his left lower abdomen. It's faint, but it's there. He's only 16, is there a way to save them while they're young?

[Candyboxed]

^^^^^^^

I liked that haircut better on Maggie Simpson.

[Drunken DJ]

Alright, this has got to be in the 'top ten of flatout fags'. Please note the 'FCUK' tanned onto his left lower abdomen. It's faint, but it's there. He's only 16, is there a way to save them while they're young?


No, sadly once they have reached this level of infection, they must be terminated and sent to the glue factory.

[Canada_Girl]

Last one, I promise.

They must have had a 'puffy jacket' and 'distressed jeans' sale.

Oh, and they're gang is called "Fresh 2 Death". If only...

[dfb547490]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg66552jp.jpg

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, he's got his name tattooed in Chinese.

No, he THINKS he's got his name tattooed in Chinese. He's actually got "Buy me a Mike's and I'll suck your dick" tattooed in Chinese. My guess is the ad is working.

[zerothehero]

I've unfortunately seen all of the MTV True Life Series involving people from Jersey. The image of a drunk guido threatening to kick someone's ass over an order of "cheese balls" at a local food stand has been seared into my memory forever.


I remember that. The chubby guido in the wife beater and cabbie hat, on da prowl for "real love". If he wanted a cheeseball, all he needed to do was look in the mirror.

[alkizz]

Anybody else thinking "fivehead"?

Also... if you gave him a tablespoonful of peanut butter would he smack like Mr. Ed?

http://myspace-301.vo.llnwd.net/00429/10/39/429909301_l.jpg

[the-blitz]

Oh my god. I hope against hope that this fucking homosexual cumstain of a trend doesnt reach Darwin. Otherwise i'll have a new game to play with my friends next time i'm in town.
How many collared shirts can you spot?
Bonus points if it's popped.
Triple points if he's one of these knob goblins.

[Al_]

Oh my god. I hope against hope that this fucking homosexual cumstain of a trend doesnt reach Darwin.

They're already infesting Sydney. I wonder who gets to Darwin first: The cane toads, or these douchebags.

Did you know these fuckers will pay $7.50 for a schooner? Crazy pricks. I guess all the semen they ingest fucks with their common sense.

Mind you, I'd like to see them in Darwin. Imagine the end of the year, when all the station hands' contracts have finished. You know, when they head into Darwin to piss it up? It'd be like Mike Tyson vs. a newborn calf. Except it'd be funnier.

Edit: A schooner is a type of glass. 375ml/12.68 fl oz. Typically the largest beer an Australian pub will use, but some also use pint glasses or steins.

[J_Balls]

How much do you think a hitman would charge to wipe out the entire posse? I'm in for $1000. They have no right to go on living.

[JohnnyO]

For the first time in my life, aside from Sunday, I'm thankful I was born in Pittsburgh, where this type of shit can get you tortured and lynched.

Me too. I said elsewhere that if somebody looked like that here, the women would laugh them out of the club. Being Italian, I'm also thankful that I found out these clowns aren't. All the pics from njguido.com aren't helping though. Glad I'm on the western border of PA far away from that shit.

[Holyfield's Ear]

http://www.njguido.com/Picture%20Pages/2006/January/January%2014,%202006%20Deko/bigimages/Deko%20Jan%2014%20023.jpeg
The "girl" on the left looks like she went a round with Tyson with that fat lip. And for the other three....jesus.

If she really went a round with Tyson, she'd have (or not have) a lot more than a fat lip. Trust me.

[Tonyo33]

I did a nationwide white pages search for the last name Hotti, and there was only 4 listings. Hawaii, Montana, Cali, and Jamaica, NY. Definitely no one in Yonkers. I think the last name is made up in order to emulate the Gottis even more. That and Albanians don't have last names like hotti. They have last names like Tahirovic. Amusingly enough, the Jamaica, NY listing has the name Hotti Hotti. Sounds like a rub and tug.

Jamaica is a section of Queens, where el Douche Bag says he's from on his myspace account.

Its great seeing everyone experience the phenominon known as guido's for the first time. However strange you think they are on the internet, its even worse when you meet them.

"Hey Yo" and "How You Doin" are common ways of greeting each other. That isn't something made up by TV shows and movies.

Excessive amounts of cologne are very important. Besides super hold gel and a blow dryer to keep the hair in place, the next step is always lots and lots of cologne.

The headband is used to keep the gel from running into their eyes when they go to clubs. At least that's what I was told the purpose was.

Any pizza place at around 2am in the Northern Jersey beaches is always good for a laugh. Espically in an area like Belmar and Seaside (where the MTV shows were taped). Most of the clubs are so loud and sweaty that after the bars close, everyone is drunk, yelling to talk, and sweating, and girls make-up starts to run. Sober guido's are bad, drunk guidos get beer muscles.

[Al_]

From his Myspace account:

http://myspace-417.vo.llnwd.net/00386/71/48/386378417_l.jpg

For someone in the $250,000+ income bracket, he sure has a fucking broke couch. Looks like he forgot to put the instant tan on the backs of his hands, too. Fair sort of a difference in complexion.

[DrunkenIndian]

try www.ussearch.com, you have to pay a fee for it...but if you want it that badly, they're as good a place as any.

[Lucker-Hax]

I found this one leaving comments on his blog:

my liife iss full of laughtterr lol if ya know me really well then you kno im a Gooffball. lol wat can ya say ima libra that rele explains it all lol. i lovee liifee and i lovee boyss. im kinda a flirt. lol but if i hadd a bf id be serious and not dick arounddd but still b the same oldd funnny becca. lol sooo boyyss and themm chiccass outt there hit me up wit messages comments or picture comments. lol andd iff ya want my s/n then hit me up. lol iight peace


Its not niccce tto makkke ffunn of someonnne whoosss tryinng to typppe wittth parkinsonssss dddisease

[JohnnyO]

http://myspace-301.vo.llnwd.net/00429/10/39/429909301_l.jpg

Looks like Jerry Seinfeld at 15.

[NoCookiesForMe]

I'd like to see pics of these guys before they... Uh... "Became" guidos? How do you decide that? How do their parents react?

"Son, is that a pink headba... Wait, is that lip glo... What happened to your ha... And your eyebr... Wha-WHA-WHAT THE FUCK?"

[UncleKG]

My next question:

Is there a Guido handbook describing exactly where the Nike swoosh should be worn on the headband? You know, kind of like the NFL has a code for how uniforms must be worn?

"The Nike swoosh must appear above said guido's left eye, with the front tip of the swoosh starting approximately 1 1/2" in from the end of the freshly waxed left eyebrow. At no time should the end of the swoosh touch an imaginary vertical line running from the front of the wearer's left ear...."

I guess it would actually read more like,

"Yo. YoUsE GuYs, tO hAvE Yo ShIt tIgHt, YoUsE gOtS tO...."

[adikeeper]

From his Myspace account:

http://myspace-417.vo.llnwd.net/00386/71/48/386378417_l.jpg

For someone in the $250,000+ income bracket, he sure has a fucking broke couch. Looks like he forgot to put the instant tan on the backs of his hands, too. Fair sort of a difference in complexion.


Does it look like the one in the white has shaved his body hair from the wrist down? Ive never seen hair stop right above the wrist like that.

[Drunken DJ]

Good god, this poor kid is never gonna now the touch of a women unless it involves giving his mastercard number first. His teeth look like little tombstones and his forehead loooks like an IMAX screen. He must be a little guido though, not enough gel in the hair and he hasnt quite got his gansta tough guy look down yet.

[Mike Gill]

Does it look like the one in the white has shaved his body hair from the wrist down? Ive never seen hair stop right above the wrist like that.

The heat from the grill at BK has singed it off.

[naic]

Another myspace guido...
http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/7070/315322729l7mt.jpg

Suck dick much?

[Dr. Ernie Smalls]

Wow.....

[Tucker Max]

Awesome:

http://gorillamask.net/hotti.shtml

[Ostro]

Wow.....
Here's a picture of the second guy on the left as a child:
http://www.deathstar.org/~svanlooy/Summer_Trip_04/Summer_Trip_04-Pages/Image0.html
I guess he "conducts" the trains they run on Lee.

On a related note, the guy on the far left is clearly not from the west side of anything.

EDIT: Whoever said that was my kid is a fucking moron.

[Drunken DJ]

Wow.....


Thats not even the half of it. Theres alot more Estrogen in that picture then people think. I can't tell who is the prettiest in that picture.

[Ostro]

Thats not even the half of it. Theres alot more Estrogen in that picture then people think. I can't tell who is the prettiest in that picture.
If there's any estrogen in the dark-haired "girl," it's only been there since the operation.

[ginnsu]

Does it look like the one in the white has shaved his body hair from the wrist down? Ive never seen hair stop right above the wrist like that.
He's obviously taping his wrists for gymnastics practice.

[Drunken DJ]

He's obviously taping his wrists for gymnastics practice.


you call it gymnastics, I call it Man on Man bondage porn.

[Dr. Ernie Smalls]

I'm officially trademarking the first 100,000 sq/ft tanning bed salon in New Jersey. All I need is a name. Ideas?

[IamRob]

I'm officially trademarking the first 100,000 sq/ft tanning bed salon in New Jersey. All I need is a name. Ideas?

The "Wop Wok."

[Havoc]

I'm officially trademarking the first 100,000 sq/ft tanning bed salon in New Jersey. All I need is a name. Ideas?


The Guinea Grill

[Amphetamine]

Another myspace guido...
http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/7070/315322729l7mt.jpg

Suck dick much?

Looks like the dog on (his) right is still licking the peanut butter off...

[May]

I did a nationwide white pages search for the last name Hotti, and there was only 4 listings. Hawaii, Montana, Cali, and Jamaica, NY. Definitely no one in Yonkers. I think the last name is made up in order to emulate the Gottis even more. That and Albanians don't have last names like hotti. They have last names like Tahirovic. Amusingly enough, the Jamaica, NY listing has the name Hotti Hotti. Sounds like a rub and tug.

Actually, Hotti is an Albanian name.Another tipical one would be Rexhepi, Kadiri, Sahilu...Tahirovic sounds kinda slavic to me, like it's a Serbian,Macedonian or Bulgarian name.Definitely not a real Albanian name.
I work in the Balkans so I deal with these kind of guys on a daily basis.

[Attitude]

Actually, Hotti is an Albanian name.Another tipical one would be Rexhepi, Kadiri, Sahilu...Tahirovic sounds kinda slavic to me, like it's a Serbian,Macedonian or Bulgarian name.Definitely not a real Albanian name.
I work in the Balkans so I deal with these kind of guys on a daily basis.

You deal w/ Albanians who are pretending to be guidos on a daily basis? This is commonplace? What?

[Drunken DJ]

The Guinea Grill


The Dago Depot

[IamRob]

You deal w/ Albanians who are pretending to be guidos on a daily basis? This is commonplace? What?

Marty, you’re not thinking 4th dimensionally.

Guido is no longer a term for just Italians. It has passed just the ethnic background and launched itself into a full blown subculture for everyone to enjoy. Like gangstas. It’s more than just the color of the skin now.

Now, if you were to say guinea, wop, dago, greaseball, goombah, close enough to African, spaghetti sucker, etc. then you’d be correct. You didn't steal those names from my people. Yet.

Haterz.

[MP2]

Wow. Those guys are gayer than Richard Simmons riding a rainbow unicorn in Barbara Streisand Day parade.

[grumf]

Meet Evil Hotti, he's the new Chucky.

http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/6931/hotti9of.jpg

[trippwalls]

I'm officially trademarking the first 100,000 sq/ft tanning bed salon in New Jersey. All I need is a name. Ideas?

Dick's Tanning

If you like tanning then you'll love Dicks.

[IanBallz]

Is that how their skin looks on a daily basis, or did they just paint themselves for the UT-USC game? I bet the word "Longhorn" has different conotations is their circle. The mini-Guinea in the pink Polo loves the Longhorn. And by "horn", I mean penis.

[coldheartedbitch]

This shit pisses me off so much.
Under no circumstances should any male
1. appear to tan more than most women
2. get their eyebrows waxed (exception: unibrows)
3. wear eyeliner or mascara
4. take more time than me to get ready
5. use the word "bro" in every sentence
6. wear their dress shirts unbuttoned with nothing underneath

[CrazyCurious]

Do you think they know how "popular" they have become?
I noticed that two of the hotti's myspace pages are now private and they would not accept me as a member!
Are they looking for an agent, lawyer or therapist????

[Havoc]

Is that how their skin looks on a daily basis, or did they just paint themselves for the UT-USC game? I bet the word "Longhorn" has different conotations is their circle. The mini-Guinea in the pink Polo loves the Longhorn. And by "horn", I mean penis.

The secret is you get a paint can with some orange paint in it, drop in a firecracker and then get your face as close to the can as possible before it explodes.

That way, you get the tan AND that goofy fucking hairdo all at the same time.

[alkizz]

... All I need is a name. Ideas?

"Guido Magic"
"The Orange Julius"

I just realized that hair style is the same as something from Dragonball Z

http://image.www.rakuten.co.jp/atmart/img1052926986.jpeg

[TankSF]

Guido is no longer a term for just Italians. It has passed just the ethnic background and launched itself into a full blown subculture for everyone to enjoy.

Rob you are right. Guido isn't just for Italians anymore. I am not sure what this one is but his name is Guido.

http://www.myspace.com/gwheedoh

[garbanzobean]

http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/4/cimg66552jp.jpg

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, he's got his name tattooed in Chinese.
I might be exposing my ignorance of fashion here, but isn't the guy on the right wearing a FUCKING RASHGUARD?

When you're in clubbin' in Hoboken, you never know when you might get challenged to a Turkish Wrestling match. Better come prepared.

[danege]

They're already infesting Sydney. I wonder who gets to Darwin first: The cane toads, or these douchebags.

They're even getting into Rockhampton (Central Queensland). These assholes are infesting the hick areas. It's fucking sad. I usually make it a point to try and ask these types why the fuck they pop their collar / spike their hair / stripey shirts / look like complete wankers and generally the response I get is:

"Cuz it's cool man! If you don like it fuck off or I'll bash ya breh!"

Did you know these fuckers will pay $7.50 for a schooner? Crazy pricks. I guess all the semen they ingest fucks with their common sense.

I get pissed if I have to pay any more than $6 for a pint! $7.50 for a schooner is fucking rediculous!

Typically the largest beer an Australian pub will use, but some also use pint glasses or steins.

Real pubs have pints!

Anyway. Switch between these two photos really fast:

Number 1 (http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/3/cimg07824xo.jpg)

Number 2 (http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/3/cimg14995gs.jpg)

Happy, sad, happy, sad ....

I wonder whats wrong? Did some skank ass beyoch bro diss his fuckin' cool headband?

[grumf]

I wonder whats wrong? Did some skank ass beyoch bro diss his fuckin' cool headband?

No his circle jerk for the night got cancelled. Nothing comes to Perth, not even the latest fads, I just got the latest horizontal stripes and now I see the vertical stripes are in fashion.

[OC&Stiggs]

Now you can make him dance.

http://muglets.com/PUUA

[dfb547490]

How much do you think a hitman would charge to wipe out the entire posse? I'm in for $1000. They have no right to go on living.

Don't want to speak for any pro hitmen, but I gotta think you'd be able to find someone to work pro bono on this one.

[Zambonian]

The secret is you get a paint can with some orange paint in it, drop in a firecracker and then get your face as close to the can as possible before it explodes.

That way, you get the tan AND that goofy fucking hairdo all at the same time.
And as an added bonus, if you get your face close enough to firecracker, you'll no longer have to deal with that pesky unibrow waxing ever again.

[UncleKG]

The secret is you get a paint can with some orange paint in it, drop in a firecracker and then get your face as close to the can as possible before it explodes.

That way, you get the tan AND that goofy fucking hairdo all at the same time.

Maybe they hang out with this guy.

Huffer Mugshot (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0721051gold1.html)

[adikeeper]

Alright, this has got to be in the 'top ten of flatout fags'. Please note the 'FCUK' tanned onto his left lower abdomen. It's faint, but it's there. He's only 16, is there a way to save them while they're young?

How long do you think it takes this kid to accomplish this everyday? Hair care companies must love these kids. They must by gel by the case. And that "FCUK" sun mark...pathetic. MTV should do a True Life: How to be a Guido, just so that everyone else can get a good laugh.
I also don't unerstand why a girl would want to risk getting her eye poked out by hanging around these things.