I wash myself with a rag on a stick

[Tucker Max]

Its that time again, time to make fun of fat people. Inspired by this article:

http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html

FOCUS: What is most disgusting, funny or disturbing thing you have ever seen/experienced a fat person doing? It can someone you know, something you saw on the street, or anything like that.


For me, I will never forget the time this morbidly obese woman, like 400+ pounds, was in front of me in line at a Chick-Fil-A. She must have ordered--and I am not exagerrating--6 chicken sandwiches, three orders of fries, three brownies, two orders of chicken nuggets...the order was so long I switched lines.

Anyway, it never occured to me who she was ordering for, it HAD to be the lunch order for her office. Not even a small group of people could eat all that, much less a fat person.

I sat down and before I could even get halway through my sandwich I had to leave the restaurant. SHE WAS EATING ALL THAT FOOD ALONE. It was disgusting--she was sloshing condiments over everything, a mound of ketchup spilling over into the brownies, pickles falling out of the chicken sandwich into her drink...I nearly vomitted on the way out.

If you can make me leave Chick-Fil-A, you have done something extraordinary.

[ThePyroman]

This is simple, yet horrible.

I once saw a woman so obese she couldn't fit though the doors of the McDonalds to get more food. Literally, her ass was so huge, she couldn't manage to squeeze though the entrance to get in. Her caretakers tried for fifteen minutes to shuffle her though, like movers dealing with a large, blubbery couch, but to no avail. And the entire time she was whining she was hungry.

You think that would have been a clear sign to change your lifestyle, but No: She sat in the handicapped van while they ordered for her. I don't know what, but the total was $28. That's a lot of McDonald’s Big Macs.

I don’t eat at McDonalds anymore.

[goober_rocks]

I was out drinking one night, might have been a 21st birthday. We are at this bar which is famous for their deliciously strong margaritas. There was an office party there it looked like, nothing too exciting to catch my attention. That is until I notice a guy, in his late twenties, all over this lady in her late thirties. No big deal, except they are each a good 100 pounds over weight. Still, nothing too exciting, but I keep an eye on these two. All of a sudden the guy leans into kiss this lady extra hard, all of a sudden the bar stool slips out from under her, leaving her fat ass on the ground with the guy on top of her. Best part was, as the stool came up, it caught him right between the legs. It didn’t stop either of them; they kissed a little longer, got up, and brushed themselves off, and kept at it. One of the bartenders jumped up on the bar, I assume he felt the vibrations through the wood floor, and ran across two tables to get to the two fatties on the floor. After making sure they were ok, he kicked them both out.

I laughed about that one all night.

[mike]

I just recently was at a call for the FD for a lift assist, to help out the ambulance crew. We get to the scene and there is a huge woman, in really bad seizures. This is not a big deal, but the topper was she just came out of a chinese food place after ordering 65 dollars worth of food and eating 50 of it. The people working there said they've never seen anyone eat so much, and that they hope that none of us are in the way if she threw up. I'm glad we got to the hospital before that happened.

Heavy people are always the first ones to bitch about the way you load them on a stretcher. I wish we could just flip out on them.

[soft]

I was minding my own business walking down Lake Shore Drive in the Gold Coast. I couldn't help but notice a VERY LARGE woman in a hospital gown in one of the bus shelters.

This woman had raised her massive self up and was bent at almost a 90 degree angle hovering over her wheel chair. I don't know how she even accomplished this position, she was Maury Povich FAT. Thanks to this uncomplimentary angle and the liberal neck line on the gown I was privvy to seeing her exposed fat sacks (they were located where a normal woman's breasts would be). I knew exactly what she was doing. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I just knew. As I walked past the shelter I had to do it; I turned around to get a confirmation peek at her from the back.

She was wiping her ass.

[BillyBlade]

I never realized how fat and disgusting some people are, until I was in a restaurant trying to eat and my seat just happens to be facing them. I was in Smokie Bones having lunch to witness something disgusting as 2 obese people eating. It was a table with 4 chairs, but one person was sitting on 2 of them. Then I looked closer, they both took chairs, no shit, one ass cheek per chair. And there was still some over hang on each side. Then I notice there as a fat little kid there, or should I say a fat young kid there. It was disgusting hearing them eat and then to walk by them you would vomit. They had food and shit all over their faces, on the table and on their cloths.

[thefilthyjew]

When I was in middle school I use to ride the public bus home. One day this really fat lady got on the bus with her daughter who was a slightly smaller vesion of her mother. These two sat on the same side of the bus and were actually tilting it in the direction of the side they were on. When it was time for these whales to get off the bus the mother paused on the bottom step, possibly to catch her breath after the strenuous three steps she had just taken, which tilted the bus even more. When she got off the steps the bus rocked so violently as it leveled itself, that one person who had been standing actually fell down from the rocking motion of the bus.

[The Good Doctor]

"Investigators say Grinds lived with a man named Herman Thomas, who says he tried to take care of her the best he could."

Is this Herman Thomas?

http://www.eyeonstarwars.com/trilogy/character/images/crumb.jpg

For all you non-dorks out there, all 3 of you, this is the little creature that partied on Jabba the Hutt's tail.

[JagerBombs]

I share office space with a morbidly obese woman - we're talking the size of the mother in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. We all decided to order in food for lunch and included her. She ordered two fried flounder subs, a full-size bag of chips and two sodas. As if that's not bad enough...

After we ordered, she said she wanted to go pick up money from the ATM. She wasn't back by the time I left so I figured I would get the cash from her later. When I drove by the McDonalds on the way to the Deli, there she was in her car - inhaling a Big Mac. She didn't see me, thank god. She came back to the office and ate her entire lunch afterwards.

[Jay Vee]

Not disgusting per se, but one of the teachers at an all-girls high school down the street from mine was so fat and heavy, he had to put cinder blocks in the passenger seat in his little POS car to keep it from listing to his side.

[IamRob]

I was riding on a bus as it came to a bus stop when this morbidly obese woman tried to get on the bus and couldn’t fit through the door. She was trying to squeeze through the door and for the same reasons that elephants don’t live in bird houses, was unable to accomplish this. It was unintentionally hilarious. The bus driver told her that there was nothing they could do and had to continue on the route. After hearing this, the woman freaked and started cursing him out telling him that their bus company was ridiculous because she never had this problem with “Otto-mo-beels” before. I didn’t know Rosa Parks was reincarnated as a bison.

[KentuckyGirl9484]

Seeing fat people take the elevator from the 1st floor to the BASEMENT is enough to make me walk the 12 flights of stairs to get where I'm going. Although it's not the most disgusting thing I've seen fat people do, it's the most irritating.

[Brown-eyed Girl]

I once knew this woman who was just massive. Morbidly obese is an understatement. Anyway, she became pregnant (I don't even want to get into the mental picture of anyone attempting to actually have sex with this woman), but she was so big that you wouldn't even have known that she was carrying a child unless she had told you.

About 5 weeks after she had the kid, someone went up to her and asked when she was due. This woman was so large that you couldn't even tell that she had been pregnant, and now wasn't.

[CaptDipshit]

My bus driver in grade school tipped the scales at around 550. He had a large frame (about 6'6"), so he was able to move around, but he was the largest man I've ever seen. I've met Tony Siragusa, and he seemed small by comparison. Anyway, here is both a funny story and a disgusting story:

Disgusting first - My grandparents' church (he was a member) had an annual fundraiser where you would pay to get in and they would serve you all the pancakes and sausage you could eat. In the corner of this large room where they were serving, there was always a divider set up separating the corner from the rest of the room. As a kid, I always asked my mom what was behind there, but she always said, "Nothing. Don't go back there." Well of course, I did go back to look, and here was FatGuy with a stack of about 20 clean plates sitting next to him. He was CLEANING PEOPLE'S PLATES! The church had worked something out with him where he wouldn't have to pay, but he could sit back behind this Chinese Wall and eat the scraps that everyone left behind. Sick.

Funny - Seven words: He got stuck in the bus door. He normally shuffled out sideways, but this time he went straight out and got stuck. I didn't see how they eventually got him out, but I heard that they cut his shirt off and used a lot of soapy water.

[tyga wooo]

I was in some southern style restaurant called Johnny Rebs when this fatty, who was one more rib away from a stroke says, " Pork fat tastes good!!!" With that statement, he takes another vicious bite out of his ribs. I think I could literally hear his heart pumping.

[Schmidt]

The fattest guy I've ever met (a Diablo 2 nerd, shocking eh?) goes to my college. Once he tried to go through a set of double sliding doors, but due to his massive size they didn't retract fast enough to let him through and he slammed into both doors, causing the entire wall (mainly windows) to shudder heavily, attracting the attention of about 50 people inside the building who all watched this asshole try to push the now semi-broken doors out further so he could get into the building.

The same guy stuffed his face in the student union until he threw up right there in the bar.

[ZombieCowboy]

The worst thing is when the fatties raise their children in such a way that they are destined for obesity and diabetes - they should be at least given a chance. I've seen children on the beach this summer that look like they don't have knee-caps because their flesh folds over where their knees should be.

Anyway, just one question: I've lived in Europe all my life and never seen people on the scale of what you guys are describing (can't get through doors etc.). Are they reserved for America? Even in Scotland, where supposedly they have the worst diet in the world, and some fast food places will deep fry anything you give them (chocolate etc) I haven't seen them. Why is this?

[Slapnuts]

I take the bus back and forth to work, and the route I take is the one that rides through the shitty part of the Twin Cities. Fittingly, I am blessed with the presence of all types - the morbidly obese that can't fit behind a steering wheel being one of them. All our buses are fitted with an elevator to help those that can't get up the stairs (i.e. wheelchairs). As we pull up to a stop, I see a man that looks like he ate Jerry Ball and then asked for seconds - well over 400 pounds. He tries to make it up the stairs. After stepping up with one foot, he makes a heroic effort to lift his second foot up, but the bus' shocks buckle and his balance is fucked. A second try - similar results. Finally, the exasperated bus driver tells him (very vocally) to hold on while he lowers the elevator. 5 minutes later, the man is up on the bus and waddles to the handicapped seat, lifts up the seat that folds up to make room for wheelchairs, and plops down, effectively fucking 5 people out of a place to sit. I can't thank the heavens enough that my stop came up soon thereafter - that stench was unbearable.

[Traffic Goddess]

I was in the ER one night to take a report. There was an RN working that is one of the most unflappable people that I have ever known. I'd watched her serveral times when she never even batted an eye at some of the goriest shit that would have me screaming for the exits.

Imagine my surprise when I saw this nurse as she bolted out of an exam room and proceeded to puke all over the hallway.

After she was cleaned up, I just had to satisfy my morbid curiousity to find out what caused this nurse to finally lose it. She was doing an intake exam of a woman that was so large that she had to be placed on a special gurney. The woman had come in to the ER complaining of chest pain. The exam revealed that she had an infected wound under one of her breasts that was infested with vermin. Apparently, it was too much trouble for this woman to bathe properly and she had been wearing this bra for so long that the underwire broke through and went into her breast. The nurse was in the process of attempting to peel off this putrid mess that was once a bra when the combination of the odor and the sight just overwhelmed her.

When I left, they were discussing how to move her into an area that they could hose this woman off.

[Choch]

hahahahahah it still bring tears to my eyes to think about this. When I was around 10 my family and I went to a water theme park in West Michigan. Anyways my dad and I get onto one of those boats that you have to pedal to get anywhere...and I belive they were meant for 2 people. Anyhoo...as we're just cruising this small lake there is this BEAST of a woman that any talk show host would kill to have as a great topic. She was def. in desperate need of gastric bypass...it ws disgusting really. So this woman and her little daughter, maybe 5 years old or so...are in this boat together. The fat bitch's side of the boat was so badly caved in the water that I just concentrated the entire time on this woman waiting for her fat ass to tip over. Also her daughter looked scared as fuck just sitting up high trying to hug and balance out the other side of the boat....I still wonder how she got into that damn thing w/o the workers saying anything.

[Sweet Marissa]

This manager of the Ritz Camera in Worcester, MA was so morbidly obese, his legs couldn't support his bodyweight so he had to walk on his "cankles". He would walk around barefoot in his store with pus oozing out of the sores on his feet.

[EPM]

I wrote the following email to some friends after a rep lunch I was forced to sit through. It was the most disgusting woman I have ever seen, let alone had to share a meal with.

And then there was the "Big Breather." This was hands down the most disgusting woman I've ever met. She came in for a lunch meeting to pitch her product. She was two months away from being found with her flesh growing around her couch. Easily 450 pounds at the height of 5'2". Watching her eat was something spectacular. Never have I seen a woman at a meeting, or man for that matter, take sandwiches, that's plural, one in each hand, and alternate between lunch meats. The roast beef did not stand a chance. The ham, she owned it. All dipped in a vat of mayonnaise that she deposited on her plate.

After we all decided we could no longer eat, she started eating out of the serving bowl of potato salad while explaining, "she skipped breakfast" Of course she did, woman of her size and stature are known for skipping meals. I was mortified. Her total lunch was 4 large sandwiches, 2 pickles, multiple cucumbers that she molested with her chubby little digits before shoving down her gullet, two scoops of Cole slaw and the serving bowl of potato salad. And of course she washed those down with 2 diet cokes and a 3 cookies.

I was seriously about to barf watching her eat. And that was before I glanced down and realized she could not touch her knees together because her belly was hanging down between them. This woman hasn't crossed her legs since Carter administration. Her dress, I mean tent, also had these slits that exposed her over grown calves. It looked like a peeled pineapple stuffed into plastic shoes.

Do you understand I spent a large portion of the meeting wondering things like, "does she even know what color her toe nails are painted" or "does she have one of those shower chairs with the hose hookup?"

Oh I forgot to mention, she smelled like a pack of Marlboro's and had the matching cough. She wins hands down for the most unhealthy person I have ever met.

[SuperJane]

Anyway, just one question: I've lived in Europe all my life and never seen people on the scale of what you guys are describing (can't get through doors etc.). Are they reserved for America? Even in Scotland, where supposedly they have the worst diet in the world, and some fast food places will deep fry anything you give them (chocolate etc) I haven't seen them. Why is this?

Short answer: stupidity and lifestyle.

Long answer: American fatties aren't fat because they eat junk food. They may be malnourished or anemic or have scurvey because they don't get enough vitamins, but a diet of McDonalds, or deep-fried Mars Bars, doesn't make you fat all by itself.

Two things make America fatter than the rest of the world: portions and exericse.

The second one depends a lot on locale, but by and large Americans are so lazy that average people, not people training for a marathon or trying to bulk up for football season, go to the gym. Why? Because we drive everywhere, basically.

Portion size is really the culprit, though. Capitalist to our fat bones, restaurants and grocery stores have fooled us for years by providing more food that we need to justify a higher price -- in case you weren't aware, food itself isn't that expensive. It's the packaging, the waitstaff, the elctricity and other overhead, etc etc.

You can eat a diet of anything and not be fat. Hell, you can eat 7 to 10 candybars per day ... if that's all you eat. More if you're muscular or male. Or you can eat 7 to 10 watermelons and still get to have a burger or two. You can eat ice cream every single day and not be fat -- if your steaks aren't 24 oz and your ice cream isn't 3 cups (24 oz).

[crowebar]

So I'm shopping at Publix one day, and I was quickly scanning the aisles for a something when this fat woman caught my eye: so much so that when I did my double take, I tripped over a low-lying beer display and crashed face first into an aisle cap chip assortment.

After picking myself up and fixing the display best I could, I went back to confirm what I saw: the woman's weight distribution was unreal. It was as if everything she had ever eaten had manifested itself in her ass. From the waist up, she was fine: attractive even. From the ass down, she had skinny legs. But her ass was literally as wide as she was tall. And she was white. I tried not to stare, but couldn't help it.

How does someone like that buy pants?

[AerodynamicVomit]

My brother was once best friends with a large man. At his peak: 800 lbs.
This particular memory, my first of this large man, was during his 600lb days. We were all sitting in the living room for no particular reason, and he just pipes up, "Hey, AerodynamicvomitBrother, can I get a bowl of sugar? I, uh. Need it. For my stomach."
Un fucking believable, he sat there and ate the whole thing.

Now, in his 800 lb days, I've seen him shirtless at the beach, inadvertantly imitating a beached whale. Finally, I've seen him shirtless and sweating over a barbeque where he was cooking for others. No, your sweat is not an acceptable marinade on my steak.

[Mongoloid]

I had to come out of lurking for this thread. I just couldn't help but share this little gem:

A few friends of mine and I went to Cedar Point a few weeks ago. We were about to get on this huge wooden roller coaster called the Mean Streak. In front of us was this massive whale of a woman who could hardly even squeeze through the bars that separate the waiting lines for seats. The cars for this rollercoaster are very small. We watched in amazement as she tried to sit down in one. These things have two seats, and she filled both easily. Her flesh that looked like cottage cheese with veins oozed over every side. What was even more fascinating is that she actually tried to pull down the little safety bar over her massive guts (yes... guts... plural). It wouldn't move an inch. The workers for the ride hadn't been paying attention and probably would have stopped her from even trying to get in had they seen her. Once one of them all of a sudden noticed what she was trying to do, he hurried over to her and told her to get out immediately. She looked at him like he told her to jump off a cliff and said, "But they let me ride last time!" I think "last time" was maybe sometime back in 1962. She got out anyway and waddled off to the side and enviously watched her fat-ass kids (who still fit because they were only 9 or 10) get on the ride. How stupid do you have to be to try and fit yourself into a 3'X4' space when you're the size of a Geo Metro!?

[SuperJane]

This is a story told to me by a guy named Joe.

Joe worked at an amusement part when he was in high school, and he was telling us all about the fat people that couldn't fit on the rides and how couldn't just tell them they wouldn't fit -- no, he had to try to shove the bar down over the fatty, or buckle the belt, or whatever until the fatty gave up.

(Side note: another friend who worked at a Jenny Craig locale not far from a Six Flags told me that quite a few people stopped in on their way back from the park, having been humiliated by not being able to ride a rollercoaster.)

Anyway, Joe was trying to shove a ride's bar far enough down over some load of lard one day, knowing he would get nowhere near the required height, when the fat man said, "oh, I know what the problem is. Hold on."

Then the fat man stood up, LIFTED HIS MASSIVE BELLY IN HIS ARMS, and sat back down. Joe pushed the bar in, and the fat man DROPPED HIS BELLY OVER THE BAR.

I cannot express in mere words how glad I am not to have seen that myself.

[Urquell]

Back in High School my class went on a field trip to the Brooklyn Zoo, and one of the teachers/chaperones was large. Huge. Fattie McGee. As my group rounded the bend to get in line for the monorail ride, we see there is a crowd of people waiting to get in. Some were chuckling, some had a look of horror, and most had a look of disbelief. As we gazed up ahead, we see this teacher struggling in vain, trying to get into the loading area of the ride. She was stuck in the revolving door.

[AtlBen76]

I started a new job a couple of months ago and one of my coworkers is a 400+ pound mass of worthless human lard. Here's how I described her to one of my former coworkers:
My only real complaint is the incredibly obese woman with questionable hygiene that sits next to me. She starts panting like she just ran a marathon when she stands up; after taking a few steps, she gets that "fat-fuck wheez" that sounds like a bagpipe that's been stuffed with cheesedip and crumbled cheetos. She was getting a little rank yesterday, I'm not sure if that's because she forgot to clean those skin-flaps of hers, or if one of her eight cats marked her as his own. Other than that, I have no complaints:)


I had this IM conversation with a friend of mine a few days later when I was listening to her order dinner:
AtlBen76: good god the wheezy fat bitch is ordering food
AtlBen76: holy fucking shit
AtlBen76: this is amazing
AtlBen76: she's getting an order of sweet & sour chicken (fried)
AtlBen76: two orders of dim sum
Tim8841: HAHAAH. it hate you
AtlBen76: egg rolls
AtlBen76: and soup
AtlBen76: FOR HER
AtlBen76: that's enough for three people
AtlBen76: i can hear the queso dip bubbling in her lungs
Friend: HAHA..you are so mean
AtlBen76: like you wouldn't be
AtlBen76: this bitch stinks and wheezes
AtlBen76: and is so fucking fat she can't even walk
AtlBen76: and did i mention she stinks?
Friend: LOL..most biggins do
Friend: lol
AtlBen76: need to just take a fire hoseto her and get under those fat rolls
AtlBen76: dip her in bleach or something to kill the critters
AtlBen76: i wouldn't be surprised if she has bits of food in those
rolls that she's saving for a snack later
Friend: I'm laughing so loud and my leasing agent keeps looking at me
Friend: lol
AtlBen76: at least you're laughing
AtlBen76: i just threw up in my mouth thinking about yeasty doritos and jelly-bellys

One day, when I was particularly irritated with this stinking, smelly sow, I sent this email to my mom and dad asking for their advice:

I'm at wit's end. I have a coworker from hell. The 400+ pound fat cow
that sits next to me, in addition to spilling crumbs everywhere,
staring at me inappropriately, and walking around with no shoes on
showing off her nasty, fungus-ridden toenails, also happens to be
partially deaf. Consequently, whenever she's on the phone--which is
all the time--I am subjected to her wheezing, grating, fat voice at
unconscionable volumes. Sometimes this sow is so loud that her voice
actually hurts my ears.

This really sucks, is very distracting, and causes me to have
fantasies of harpooning her like the fat whale she is. Do you have
any suggestions for dealing with this? Have either of you heard if
those noise canceling headphones will cancel out the sound of rutting
walruses?

As I'm sitting here typing this email, she's eating her first lunch of the day. By the sound of it, one might think of eating egg salad sandwiches as an exercise. My god I hate her.

[ThePyroman]

Anyone else notice that 90% of these responses are about women???

[-jess-]

post

I worked with a woman like this. She could barely walk, she was so fat. She literally ate nonstop. One of her desk drawers was filled with various chips and candy.
For work breakfast, because she ate before she left home, she'd have a bag of chips and a piece of fruit. Then she'd snack on her trail mix or cake or whatever. Then she'd go to lunch. Our company provided us with free lunch, all you can eat, so you know that was heaven. After lunch she'd have her candy bars or a bag of popcorn from the wagon across the street.

One day, she was talking to me, eating a bag of buttered popcorn, and in between bites, she'd wipe her hands off on her arms!

The grossest thing by far, was she picked her nose and ate it.

[sk1917]

I interned in DC and one of my roommates was the saddest human being ever. Not only was she operating on a 4th grade reading level she was easily 400lbs. My other roommates and I actually felt pity on her when she would call home crying to her Mother asking for money because she had spent it all on food. Again we felt bad that while cleaning we found a Rubbermaid container filled with cookies, cakes, soda, and other snacks underneath a pile of shit in her closet. But when one of my other roommates and I went to Chick-Fil-A for some much needed hang over food she got a look of disgust on her face and said, "God I don’t know how you guys could eat that...It's so bad for you." This is where the pity stopped and I laughed in her face.

Other events during our stay included returning all the clothes she bought for her job to buy Chinese food from the food court at the mall. Eating all of our food. Stealing food from her internship to bring home and hide. Asking me if she could borrow $75 from me on the last day to get a Greyhound back home to NY because she was short a little cash. I told her she was a fat bitch and I wouldn’t give her the money because I knew she had spent it all the night before at dinner when she went crazy at the food court again. I still don’t know if she ever got home and I really don’t care.

[SuperJane]

You all have been to the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, right? If not, visit, stat. http://naafa.org/

Their messageboard is priceless. I believe we once discussed a thread about washing oneself with a rag on a stick because one is too fat to reach one's nether regions.

[-jess-]

I actually felt bad for this guy, he was super nice, but super huge.
We had a summer program for our college grants which included several field trips.
One was Six Flags, there were a few rides he couldn't get on.

The other was horseback riding. The ranch couldn't find a horse that could bear his weight. God, how sad is that?

[bytor2112]

I'm sure everyone has seen/heard this one before but I did see it once....

I love the incredibly fat people that are ordering triple cheeseburgers, super sizing fries, and then they order a diet coke. Apparently being obese makes you an idiot.

[-jess-]

You all have been to the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, right? If not, visit, stat. http://naafa.org/

Their messageboard is priceless. I believe we once discussed a thread about washing oneself with a rag on a stick because one is too fat to reach one's nether regions.


Let's list reasons NOT to lose weight. (http://www.naafa.org/documents/brochures/nextdiet.html)

JESUS!
DO YOU ENJOY HIGH RISK ACTIVITIES?
You have about as much chance of winning the lottery as you do of permanently losing weight by dieting. Over a five-year period, only 2-5% of dieters succeed in keeping their weight off. and over one-third of all diets result in long-term weight gain. Would you accept a treatment for any other medical condition that had those "success" rates? If you've dieted frequently in the past, what makes you think this time will be any different? You may be wasting time, money, and energy, and risking your health if you go on another diet. Are the odds worth it?

IMPROVED GENERAL WELL-BEING
Many people say they just feel better at a lower weight. This attitude is primarily a result of internalized oppression against fatness. A healthy dose of self-esteem, an active social life, and a moderate exercise program will make a person of size feel better.

So yea, just stay fat and unhealthy. Eventually, the world will have to accept you.

[ThePyroman]

You all have been to the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, right? If not, visit, stat. http://naafa.org/

Their messageboard is priceless. I believe we once discussed a thread about washing oneself with a rag on a stick because one is too fat to reach one's nether regions.

I smell a Online Bulletin Board raid

Now registering "TheFatPyroman" on the NAAFA Discussion Boards ...It's a slow day...let's have some fun...

[SuperJane]

I smell a Online Bulletin Board raid

Now registering "TheFatPyroman" on the NAAFA Discussion Boards ...It's a slow day...let's have some fun...
I think we've done this before ... and they're pretty strict about protecting their own.

[Tinius]

Being that I'm a fat truck driver, a profession famous for it's fatties, I've been amazed at exactly how fat and lazy some of them are.

I was fueling my truck in Pembroke, NY, a few weeks ago, when another truck pulled into the fueling lane next to mine. The driver of the other truck set his brakes and a moment late the truck began to rock back and forth. I know when I move around in my truck it makes it move, even skinny drivers move the truck a bit, but this truck looked in danger of tipping. The steps used to climb into the truck were nearly touching the ground with each dip towards the ground.

Making me curious of what exactly this driver was doing, I began paying closer attention. I curse myself for this curiosity daily now. Eventually it was apparent the driver had finally extracted him/herself from the truck. After taking care of
what ever was needed on the far side of the truck from me, I see the inflated Violet Beauregarde waddle around the front of the
Peterbuilt.

My first thought was, "How the fuck did she get in the fucking cab of that truck?!" Peterbuilt's are not known for there spacious
forward cab areas. She waddled over and started fueling her passenger side tanks at which point she was wedged between her
trailer and cab.

I finished fueling and took a few minutes to check my oil and water levels on the far side of my truck away from hers, trying not
to think about her getting stuck where she was. As I went back around my truck to climb in, I hear something I can only describe
as the wet nasty fart sound made by children using there hands pressed against their mouths. I didn't want to look, I tried not to,
I silently begged myself not to do it, I pleaded with my curiosity to not do this to me, yet I did anyway. I walked past the driver
door of my truck and went toward the trailer to feign checking the airlines between truck and trailer, and glanced toward where
Violet was.

SHE WAS SQUAT SHITTING! I gaped in horror. This disgusting example of what happens when daddy doesn't hug you enough,
was too fucking lazy or to fucking fat and unable to make it the 200ft to the truck stop to shit. I stumble/walked (fuel islands covered
in diesel fuel are really slick) to the far side of my truck and vomited in the trashcan. The driver on the other side of me asked if I was ok.
I quickly told him what made me sick, he too looked ill but went to look anyway. He "snuck" over to my lane and looked from between
my truck and trailer. Apparently he's got a much stronger stomach than mine, as he didn't vomit. He did however, use the phone near the
pump to call the desk and tell them. Not wishing to brave seeing anything else, or god forbid smell anything, I didn't try to get back in my
truck.

The attendant who had to come out and confront this, deserves a raise. Hell the man deserves a medal. What was said I don't know, what
was done however was to have "ChubbyDumper" arrested. The police had to call in a van to haul her off, and a tow truck to move truck

This event has truly put the fear of god into me. I've quit eating salt, I switched from my diet Pepsi, to water, I quit smoking and have done
everything my surgeon had told me I need to do to get ready for my gastric bypass. I even called a lawyer to talk with my insurance company.
I've truly enjoyed a lot of my life as "The Big Guy" but folks, I'm getting smaller as soon as I can, by every means I can.

About an hour after I'd left that truck stop, I had the worst thought ever. For the sake of the police, I hope she'd somehow managed to wipe/hose off by then.


TINY

[Sydira]

I was walking into a fitting room of a department store when one of the doors opened to reveal someone who I'd say was pushing 450 lbs showing off a bathing suit. She naturally wanted to see how she looked in the big mirror. No design could every draw attention away from the fact that the spandex was almost at its breaking point. Flab was spilling out of the tops and sides of the suit as if making a last ditch escape effort. I have this image seared into my brain, and it is not pretty.

[ThePyroman]

Note that although you are registered, you cannot post new posts until the forum administrators officially approve your new registration. You should receive a response to your request within 48 hours.

Damnit. I have to wait 48 to torture disgusting fat people. What the fuck. This is worse than the 7-day waiting period to buy a handgun. I wanna tease the fatties now!!!!!

[Andypro500@AOL.com]

I used to work at a Quiznos in Phoenix, Arizona where I am from. One night about 30 minutes before we closed. This must have been a year ago or so, this unusually enormous and disgusting cow of a fat woman stumbled into my Quiznos at 7th st and Thunderbird. She was drunk off her ass and fell into the pepper bar at the front of the store pulling the particle board off of the wall, breaking the glass sneezegaurd. She must have been around 450 lbs, I was surprised she fit through the door, especially after her ass cheeks tagged it on the way in, I mean this was unbelieveable. Now I am just shocked and at a loss for words that she had just broken the pepper bar in the store I was working at. So once she gets up she briefly apologizes for her previous demolition of the pepper bar and begins to order. I have to call the owner and find out wtf the do because this fat hoe just took out prolly a 500 dollar piece of equipment. I tell her to hold on a minute as I am speaking with the owner. The owner tells me that she is on her way immediatly because she is pissed. Now I was told to stall the customer, so I take her order and she orders a large black angus with double meat no less....figures. After devouring her sub in I'd say 3 minutes, she begins stumbling out of the store. I tell her to her to hold on because she is responsible for the damages she had caused. Note that I am like 2 feet away from this disgusting beast. I shit you not, she groaned, pushed me on my back and took off through the door. Right as she is almost out of the store her ass yet again tags the door as it did on the way in and she fell FLAT on her face. She ended up breaking her nose and had to pay for the damages. It was the weirdest and funniest night of my life I'd say so far. But that is my craziest fat story.

[BowChickaBowBow]

One of the doctors I work for was examining an obese patient for 'severe abdominal pain'. The woman weighed about 500 lbs and none of the tests they ran on her brought back anything conclusive. The doctor decided to examine her body for bruising or other problems. Well, imagine our surprise when Dr. lifted her fat apron and pulled out an orange. That's right. The fruit. We just looked at each other and she sat it on the instrument tray. Miraculously, the woman's symptoms disappeared.

My mom used to work at a nursing home and one of the fat patients had such a smell about her, no one could seem to get her clean. After a few weeks of this, they finally do a thorough exam on her. While lifting up one of the rolls on her stomach, they found a half eaten tuna fish sandwich. Oh, and a dime.
EDIT: I just remembered, this was after the tuna episode. The same lady also lost her remote control for her television. She kept complaining that her TV was mysteriously changing channels and that she didn't know where the remote was. You guessed it. Stuck in a fat roll. The fat was randomly pushing buttons when she moved, thus, changing stations and adjusting volume.

[Stonzey]

Since Pyroman pointed out most of these stories were about women, I thought I'd point out this gem...

My first full time job involved extensive travel around the country. I worked with a kid a year younger from the same HS a few times over a few years. He was 6'1", 350lbs of eating machine. He was (fortunately) not the smelliest fatty I've smelled, but he did have his ripe moments. He would eat 2 boxes of Jimmy Dean microwavable biscuit sandwiches @ 10am break, after I'm sure he had a nice big breakfast, and had probably already put down a box of pop-tarts. If we were at a restaurant, and say, his steak had huge strips of fat, these would be played with, rolled over the tongue, savored as if it was the finest cut of all, and then slurped hungrily.

Now, this is where it gets good. I once had to go to Columbia, SC, to finish up a job site he had been working, and pack up the equipment, and clean the work area. You see, he had been there for a few weeks, and for some bizarre reason, even though the job was almost complete, he wanted to stay at a different hotel. We were advanced the next weeks per diem Friday, and he decided to make said move at 11pm, Friday night, and to save money, he would WALK, rather than take a cab, through the not-so-savory park in the middle of town. He was approached by a homeless man asking for money. When he obliged said homeless man, he was apparently bonked on the head, rendering him unconscious. When he awoke, no shoes, pants around ankles, no suitcase, no money, sore ass. He wandered to the airport, finally got ahold of someone at the office Saturday, who quickly got him a flight out. Cleaning up the work-site was funny(jar of PB, cans of tuna, candy wrappers, etc), but all I could think about was... WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT HOMELESS GUY THINKING, AND IF PERHAPS THEY HAD SOME NASTY HOMELESS GANG-BANG ON MY UNSUSPECTING CO-WORKER. Poor guy, I don't know what happened to him, he didn't last too much longer at that job.

[lostit]

I recently saw a 400+ lb woman working as a cashier at Wal-Mart, with her Oxygen tank on the floor next to her leg, and the clear plastic tubing going up to nose so she could breathe while she worked.

[RileyAZ]

A few years ago I had to entertain some client s and one of them was approx 600-700lbs, this guy was HUGE and about 6.5 feet tall...anyway, we ended up at the titty bar and he wanted a lap dance from what had to be the samllest, most petite stripper in the house. What followed was one of the funniest things I have ever seen...This poor girl looked like she was trying to scale Everest, seriously, sit back in your chair and put something like a stapler on your chest and you will have the aspect ratio of what I saw.

Another time, I was directing a kids TV show and one of the producers decided she had to write herself into a scene where she had to climb thru a trap door to get to a room. Well, trap door was made for normal sized peopel, not for her and she got hard stuck half way through with cameras all rolling. Took us 30 minutes to ger her backed out of that and the crew had to break to go out and laugh in the parking lot.

[_tom]

Many years back I went to NYC on business. There I saw something that I still remember as a real life horror story.

I saw a really fat man get stuck in a revolving door.

He walked to the door without apprehension, politely waiting his turn. But he got in and the door stopped revolving. I saw him push, trying to hop the door back into motion. I also saw the panicked look in his eyes as he couldn't get it moving. There was another person on the other side, and she also had panicked actions (her face I couldn't see as her back was to me). The man tried to move a little sideways, and actually got it to move a bit. He continued doing this, and eventually got the door move, but only a little at a time. Some people were laughing and pointing, but by the time the man got out of the revolving door, he was so upset he was crying and had to sit down.

I truly felt sympathy for that man. I can only hope that was his wakeup call.

[slovett]

About 6 years ago, a friend and I were inside a McDonald's, just about to order. All of a sudden, a woman bursts through the doors and starts screaming.

woman: "Somebody help me! She's choking! I can't get my arms around her!"

In an instant, a latino guy, working in the back, jumps the counter and runs out to the parking lot.

My friend and I watch as the latino guy tries to maneuver this manatee from her car in order to help her. It is obvious she's choking. She's making the universal choking sign but with only one hand. This was because she had a deathgrip on a box of fucking french fries.

He finally manages to get her out of the car and he tries to perform the heimlich on her. He can't. This is because, just like the lady before him, he can't get his arms around Shamu. The bitch is starting to turn blue. The guy starts slapping her on the back, not knowing what else to do. It's not working and the ambulance still hasn't arrived.

We can see the latino guy talking to the woman as if he is explaining something to her. All of a sudden he punches her. He gave her what sort of looked like an uppercut right in the gut. Actually, it was more between her gut and her breasts, but with as big as she was it was hard to really tell.

The next thing we saw were these nasty, half chewed fries come flying out of her mouth. The worst part of all of this was that the paramedics (who arrived just after the fries came out) had to talk this bitch into letting go of the box of fries she was still clutching.

My friend and I decided to eat somewhere else after that.

[SoylentGreen]

The largest man I ever met was pushing 700 lbs if I recall correctly.

I was then working as a paramedic in Indianapolis and we get this call from a doctor who is out at a patient’s house and is requesting “Rescue” so we respond. We found it very odd that a doctor was making house calls but the reason was soon very apparent.

This guy who was found by Meals-on-Wheels (a service that delivers food to the poor and indigent) to be unconscious and unable to open the door call the family and the brother was his physician as well. The brother had came first probably assuming he was in fact dead from a heart attack or something. He was in actually very, very, very dehydrated. A near 700lb man requires a lot of water. He needed to get his brother to the hospital and like most doctors do when facing the possibility of tugging and lifting their fat-huge-as-a-fucking-freight bin family they do the next best thing, activate EMS. Three simple numbers, 9-1-1, and all your problems vanish. BULLSHIT.

I take one look at the HUGE fuck lying on the floor and want to set him on fire. He couldn’t walk. He rolled, that’s right he fucking ROLLED everywhere. He shit on one side of the room and had a stick and a box of towels he used to scrape his ass and pissed in cups. There was apparently some foreign woman who watched after him and changed his shit rags occasionally.

He had two king sized mattresses on the floor, big screen TV and a phone. It was so fucking disgusting and revolting I literally found myself being so contempt filled that I had to leave the room several times. Not only was he this epic FAT FUCK he was a bitch about it, full of complaints and lets not forget also a flaming queer.

After about 15 minutes I had a whole host of problems in extricating Mr. GLUTTONY from his hoggish retreat. The most critical being:

-He had apparently attained his girth after entering the apartment; he would not fit through the doorway.
-He would not fit in the hall way.
-He would not fit on my Stryker (http://ems.stryker.com/detail.jsp?id=1) cot
-We are on the third fucking floor.

At this point I turned the scene control over to the fire captain to resolve. His fat life was in no danager other than from me, a zippo and a can of unleaded. We went outside where he thanked me profusely by reminding me what a worthless sack of shit I was. We did however come up with a plan. My first option of setting him on fire and then letting the fire guys put him out did not go over well, even though we could have carried him out in the bellies of a couple shop vacs.

I called the dispatcher and had one of the field supervisors rent a flat bed Ryder rental truck and called a music store I knew pretty well to borrow some equipment. Had the guy bringing the truck stop and secure a spare O2 tank and pick up the gear at the music store.

An hour later here is what had happened. (Somewhere I have pictures of this I’ll post them if I find them.)

Both agencies have these “hold harmless” waivers to people who do stupid shit and need to be saved so that we can bill the patient for anything not covered by insurance. So we had them signed and started to work.

The fire dept removed the sliding glass door that went to the deck and then removed the hand rails on the deck. We secured 4 lines and pulleys to the roof of the building. We pulled Lard Ass to the deck on two king sized bed sheets and fitting him with a piano sling, used for hoisting HUGE ASS pianos and also secured him with several other modified harnesses. We hooked him and winched him down to the bed of the flat bed truck which also had the floor of a piano crate (like a pallet on steriods) for his big ass to be dropped on. You should have heard his sorry pathetic ass cry, fat gay lisp and all. Fat thick fingers waving in the air like he was dying. At this point I prayed that the lines would not break because I did not want to try and resuscitate him.

Once on the truck we strapped him in as you would a piano or some other big piece of shit you would pack on a flat bed truck and transported him to the hospital.

At the hospital they had a forklift waiting for us in the parking lot, we released the straps and they fork lifted him on to two hospital beds. He was no longer my problem.

[selfish]

Oh, and a dime.

SCORE!!

FOCUS
Mine isn't nearly as disgusting as some of these, but it's funny. I play rugby with a guy that goes about 350. Last year he got kicked in the head and knocked out. When he dropped like a ginormus sack of crap he landed flat on a player from the other team. It was like a cartoon, this guy was flat on his back with the moose on him and all you could see where hands and feet sticking out waving for help.

[LokiSteve]

I was working at a Life Flight landing zone, and the medics ask for four guys to come over and help out. I go over, and had to help move this lady, probably 350-400 pounds, from the ambulance strecher to the helocopter strecher. The pilot sees this, starts looking around at the crew, and tells the intern that she's going to have to stay behind.

The helocopter takes off, straining. After watching a few dozen of these things take off, I knew the normal timeframe for getting off the ground. This took about twice as long. Engine spun up, roters changed pitch, and it sat there. Engine screamed a little more, then it was off.

And crooked. The damned helocopter was listing to the side she was on. I was surprised because she wasn't *that* big, but I guess the flight crew being mostly male didn't help the problem any.

[Sterling]

When I was in Hawaii, my family and I were snorkeling off of a catamaran. There were a bunch of other people on the boat, too. Everyone was eating and drinking on their way back from the snorkel location.

Beside me was a fat woman who was probably pushing 300 lbs. She was just givin 'er; shoving food down her throat. After about 20 minutes she got sick and was puking all over the side of the boat. After she was done, she wiped her mouth with her beach towel and told her husband to go get her a bagel with some cream cheese and tomato on it. He obliged.

SHE STARTS EATING AGAIN. Fifteen minutes later, guess who was heaving over the side of the boat again - Fatty. She did this twice more - eat, then puke, eat, then puke - before she finally realized that her stomach wasn't going to hold any food.

[Muney]

http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html.

So i guess the joke " your mamas so fat she uses a matrice as a maxi pad" works in this situation...honestly....what would happen in that situation??? Im sure after 6 years or so, that would start to stink like a mother fucker!

[MrBesch]

Student, Senior, and Limited Income dues: Self determined

I wonder if they'd take a case of Cheez Whiz?

[TheRimmer]

My Aunt was morbidly obese (same one that sprung a leak at her funeral) and made damn sure that her youngest daughter was a dynamo just like mommy. This way mommy will never be alone and always have someone to watch over her.

I've got so many horrific lard ass stories from these two. They both were under 5'4" and topped the scale at 350. Let me paint a picture: my cousin looks like the Michelan Man with a mullet. It's so much worse having someone like this in the family because it's that harder to escape. Family dinners turn into an endurance test. How long can you hold your meal inside as she's slopping through her trough, food particles flying everywhere, leaking down her chin? Can you sit through dessert while her brown teeth chomp down on some cake?

8 years old and I'm at the beach with her and my mom. Cousin is wearing a pair of sweat shorts, a tank top, and some sort of sports bra. It could have been a tablecloth, I don't know. But her pasty, bleached rolls are just oozing out from every crease and opening. This sea creature was being flung around in the surf looking like a manatee tangled in seaweed. Bobbing, rolling around in the water she's all giggly and her face is flushed. Every move she makes sends her fat flying from one side to the other as if it's a cape. Even that young I could feel all these people watching. Just deplorable to live like that.

[Hurray4Boobs!!]

I used to " shadow" doctors in my undergrad. This is where you follow a doctor around and watch him treat patients. Shortly after this experience that I am about to share, I lost all passion for wanting to do anything in the medical field.

It was shortly after noon when the largest man I have ever seen waddled into the town clinic. The man was complaining of shortness of breath and a numbing sensation in his left arm.

He exceded the limit for the scales that we had in the clinic, so we had to just take his word for it when he told us that he weighed 622 lbs. I tried to keep a straight face when he told me this, as though I see people in here all the time that way that much.

The doctors did an EKG and concluded that the man's heart was in OK condition. He was not having a heart attack. More than likely it was just a panick attack. They were preparing to send him home, but first they wanted to give him an injection of something or other.

The fat man damn near shit his pants at the sight of the needle. He started breathing all funny and sweating. The nurse gave him a poke, and the fat man got dizzy. Then he paased out face first on the floor.

Now at the time, it was just me and the old nurse administering the injection in the room. The doctor had stepped out to work with other patients. There was no way we were going to be able to roll this fat bastard over.

After some help from a few more nurses, they managed to roll his ass over. I had to move out of the way, seeing as how I wasn't allowed to help even if I had wanted to. The fat man had stopped breathing while he was on his face. They tried to clear an airway, but I guess he was just too fat. Next they tried to intibate, but for the same reasons they were unsucessful at first.

By the time they actually were able to get a tube down his throat he was pretty much already gone. He died about three minutes after that. He litterally died because he was too fat to roll over.
The crazy thing is that the nurse who had given the fat man the injection ended up having a heart attack right there on the spot due to all the exitement. They had already called for a helicopter to move the fatty, but since he had died, they flew her to the hospital instead.

[Nanashi]

I was waiting in line this weekend for this film festival that Quentin Tarantino was attending, and after about thirty minutes, the crowd started to part. Assuming QT was arriving, I tried to stand taller to get a closer look. No, it was just a massive, ~300 pound man pushing an even more massive, ~400 pound woman on a wheelchair. She was so huge the crowd had to actually surge to make room for her. I felt slightly bad for her simply because she looked so goddamned miserable in her flowery mumu.

But then I saw what capped it off for me: she had a fucking beard. A long, thick, curly beard. Like, think Lila from Carnivale. Nothing she was doing was particularly disgusting, but the beard forced me to turn away and hide my head both in shame and fright.

[sam272]

first time, long time, whatever

i deliver pizzas and the drivers have to clean the kitchen at the end of the night where i work. so one of the other drivers is a nice but fat fuck and i have to do some mild manual labor at 4am with him. well, mild labor for most people. for him it seems like he's climbing everest. every motion he makes is like reaching the summit without oxygen. i'm somewhat sad for his 'stretching out my 3x tshirt' ass, but i'm more disgusted and pissed off at how gross he is. panting marathon style while washing dishes and taking breaks to catch his breath while mopping make him incompetent, which makes me hate him even more. the worst, though, is when i'm trying to get around his fat ass and i see his sweaty, hairy crack framed by the whitey tighties. i almost lost it right there. and i'm not even going to talk about the fat person smell because that's a given. fucker.

[CaptCapital]

Disgusting first - My grandparents' church (he was a member) had an annual fundraiser where you would pay to get in and they would serve you all the pancakes and sausage you could eat. In the corner of this large room where they were serving, there was always a divider set up separating the corner from the rest of the room. As a kid, I always asked my mom what was behind there, but she always said, "Nothing. Don't go back there." Well of course, I did go back to look, and here was FatGuy with a stack of about 20 clean plates sitting next to him. He was CLEANING PEOPLE'S PLATES! The church had worked something out with him where he wouldn't have to pay, but he could sit back behind this Chinese Wall and eat the scraps that everyone left behind. Sick."'Thou shalt waste not. And lo, thou shalt labor to construct with your waste products a vast tower of Lardation; and feed this tower to the man whose many chins flap together like a chorus of doves wings.' Spake He thusly.


I saw a drunk, blacked out fat guy in a shopping cart the other weekend. His friends were trying to wheel him home. You ever see a huge man in a shopping cart? 400 pound peg in a square hole; doesnt work. They must have dropped him off the roof of a house to get him as far into it as they did -- his limps were all splayed out at the top, and his head danged out the back, the fat from his neck choked up around his cheeks. They were pushing him up a tiny little hill, probably a 2% grade, and it took 2 guys.

[KedaZ]

Ok, first funny:

I'm on a flight from San Antonio to Dallas and have the unfortunate seat between a person talking to himself and a 350 pounder. Southwest Airlines is notorious for overbooking flights and this flight was no different. The flight attendant gets on the PA and announces the situation and offers $200 credit to anyone willing to go standby on the next flight. Everyone on the planes has a look on their face saying "no fucking way". The flight attendant is at a loss. She starts walking down the aisle tilting her head back and forth looking for a response until she comes to my row sees my situation and stops. I look at her and as discretely as possible tilt my head at fatty while glancing quickly and gesticulating by slowly extending my hands away from each other suggesting "too fat". The flight attendant bolts to the back grabs another flight attendant, and he as calmly and politely as possible explains that in order for him to fly, he has to buy two tickets and since the flight was full, he had to get off. To my amazement, the fat one just said "Certainly, I understand." The crazy fuck next to me who had reciting his internal monologue for the past 5 minutes, rambling such gems as "You want my blood Mr. Cheney? You want my blood, Mr. Bush? You can't have it!!" switched to a tirade about McDonalds saying "That's what you deserve for buying into the corporate world. McDonald's has purchased the rights to your stomach fat man!" Fat man flips him off and leaves. For some reason I don't regret listening to crazy for twohours over using this mans love handles as my second armrest.

And now disturbing:

I work as a bartender at a sports bar/resturant. The waitresses range from hot 18-21 year olds, to pregnant, to fucking obnoxious overweight pigs. It just so happens that a waitress that was adament on fucking me became friends with the most annoying pig I have ever met. You know the one who bitches about everything and expects everyone to drop their shit and empathize with her. Yeah, I hate her. After closing on a Saturday night, my buddy and I meet Whore out at a bar. She's with pig. Several rounds of shots later after repeatedly ignoring or refuting anything pig says (Friend had gone to the bar to talk to someone else, I wasn't about to make him play wingman with this bitch. Friends don't do that to friends), Pig gets up to go to the bathroom. Whore propositions me, saying "So when are you going to invite me back to your place to fuck? Cause I'm down anytime". Remember that, that's important. I get up, she grabs her purse, I flash my friend the peace sign, he laughs, and Whore and I are heading out the door when Pig runs around me, blocks my path and spreads out her arms.

Me: "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Pig: "She can't go home with you."
Me: "Fuck you. Get out of my way."

Pig grabs Whore and starts pulling her towards her car. This infuriates me. I walk outside and let one loose on this girl. I tell her everything I hate about her. Fat, Obnoxious, Den mother, Bitch, you name it, I said it. I don't know how long this lasted, but it drew a huge crowd. The guys were all clapping in the end. Several girls called me an asshole. Whore and Pig left, Whore having taken my side, but was forced into a car in the end.

The following day another co-worker of mine, a guy, comes up to me and looking anxious and disturbed. He's looking all over the resturant and biting his finger nails.

Me: "The fuck's the matter with you?"
Him: "Is... Is Whore coming in today?"
Me: "Yeah, dude you should have seen what happened last night with her..."
Him: "No dude, You have to listen to what happened to me Friday night."
Me: "With Whore?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Well?"
Him: "I got high with her and she went down on me."
Me: "This is a bad thing?"
Him: "Well I wanted to have sex with her."
Me: "Was she on the rag on something?"
Him: "No dude. You can't tell anybody here this......"
Me: "What is it?"
Him: "She has herpes."
[long, LONG pause]
Me: "Fuck you. You're joking."
Him: "Seriously bro. I got tested yesterday. I was shitting myself after she told me."
Me: "God Good. You don't have it do you?"
Him: "No, thank Christ."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I don't fear much, but I would rather have the plague than herpes. She didn't even tell him until she had already blown him. And she said let's go back to your place to FUCK. TO FUCK. And give me herpes? Whore came in an hour later. She was in the locker room adjacent to the Unisex bathroom downstairs. I grab her arm and pull her into the bathroom. She gets excited and tries to kiss me.

Me: "Get the fuck away from me."
Her: "What, why?"
Me: "You have something you want to tell me?"
Her: "...........no..... like what?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know... like you have FUCKING HERPES!! WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME THIS? AFTER I HAD WARTS ALL OVER MY BALLSACK? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD.... I DON'T.... YOU.... [thud]"

That thud sound is off me getting SO pissed off and having SO much blood rush to my head that I turned pale and passed out. When I came to I had the bathroom trash poured all over me and a raging headache. Whore never came back to work. I've never been so glad to have been cockblocked by the fat friend.

[Hans_Gruber]

My dentist used to have this smoking hot blonde hygienist who was in her 30's. She made my visits to the dentist enjoyable. I came in one day for a normal visit AND HOLY SHIT THERE IS A HUUUGE WOMAN. WOW.

As she is cleaning my teeth, she will take breaks every couple minutes and take bites out of her double cheeseburger and eat her fries from Burgerking. She'll was her hands and then continue with my teeth. And this cycle continues. Is that even sanitary?? or legal???

[Poopourri]

I was at Disney World this past spring break, casually strolling around with some of my teammates. This was the third straight year our coach had been robbed us out of a normal, sane spring break, so we were understandibly bitter. Not even the "Happiest place on Earth" could bring a smile to my face that day, but the most unlikley of sources did.

We were standing under an awning, waiting out a rain storm so we could make our way back to the hotel without getting soaked. Out of the corner of my eye I spot a morbidly obese man in a neon-yellow rain pancho, trying to make it past crying toddlers and their parents in his Hover-round. The similarities between him and a school bus were striking, but no big deal right? Wrong. I look immediately behind him and see his wife, who is even bigger, on the same model scooter. Wedged inbetween her fourth stomach and the handlebars was a bag of cotton candy that had since melted in the rain and stained her Hanes Beefy t-shirt, accenting her already stained face and hands so as to make it look like a Smurf bukkake. Surely things couldn't get any worse, but that notion was soon squashed when I noticed the chubby, sausage like fingers holding onto the back of her scooter. They belonged to their impressively obese soon, who was mooching a free ride off his mom as he was relegated to a regular wheelchair.

Part of this spectacle was sad, as they all had obvious health problems, but there was something so ridiculously funny about an obese family coming to Disney World and making their way around in a rainstorm like some sort of cholesterol ridden convoy.

[KStone]

When I was about 8 my dad took me to the Sears Tower to get the view of the city. We're the first two on the elevator and the next person is quite possible the fattest woman I've ever seen - a solid 450lbs. I'm standing at the back of the elevator, she steps in, turns around and starts moving back to let others on and smashes me up against the elevator wall with her monstrous ass. As the wall of ass flesh hit me so did the smell, somewhere along the lines of tuna mixed with goldfish food. To this day every time I look at the Sears Tower that wonderful memory comes flooding back.

[Mr. Belvedere]

1. I heard that there was a poker game held on Monday nights in the back room of a bar about a mile or so from my house. So I show up and am playing with a bunch of regulars including a man of great girth who was probably in the 400 pound range. He orders some food from the kitchen, 'the usual' he says. 10 minutes later they come out with what looked like an entire 1lb package of bacon which had been pan fried and a bowl of mayonnaise (for dipping). He consumes it with great voracity and scrapes the remaining mayo out of the bowl with his fingers, licks it off, and touches the same cards that must touch when they get dealt to me. I haven't been back.


2. There is a local 24 hour diner where my friends and I often go for some food after the bars close. One night, a great big man was there eating a great big breakfast and sweating profusely. He was wearing a cutoff shirt and proceeded to stuff several napkins in his armpits in order to dam up the sweat. Unfortunately he ran out of napkins and still had sweat pouring down his face. This problem he sloved by picking up one of his remaining uneaten pancakes and wiping his face with it. Since he wasn't going to let a little sweat ruin a perfectly good pancake, he subsequently consumed it.

[Mr. Orgizimo]

It wasn't until I started working at TheBeach that I truly learned the meaning of what it is to be fat. Most all of the stories on this thread involve fatties with normal amounts of clothes on or eating or performing normal day-to-day operations. I get to see them...
...in bikinis (someone forgot to teach them shame, although most try to cover up)
...tanning. Ever seen a beached whale?
...running after their fat children.
...eating in said bikinis.

Still, the worst site I've had the misfortune of gazing upon was a fat, hairy Armenian man asleep on his chair with a box of Vanilla Wafers resting on his stomach with crumbs on the side of his face. I didn't get a chance to see, but I pray that he had that shape burned into him by the end of the day.

As much entertainment the consistent flow of obese people at TheBeach provides, nothing will ever compare to the day a permit for 40 mentally disabled adults came. But that's a story for another thread.

[pushit]

Part of being a bioengineering grad student is that we observe a lot of hip/knee implant surgeries. Most of these are your simple run-of-the-mill old people with arthritis. Now, when you've seen enough naked old people, you tend to get a pretty strong stomach when it comes to the various disgusting forms the human body can take.

On one surgery, a 400+ lb. woman was getting a hip replacement. The surgeon had to cut through over a foot thickness of fat in her hip to get to the joint. Normally, getting to the hip bone with the electric scalpel is pretty much like cutting butter, but it must have taken him 10 minutes to get through all that blubber.

Picture an NFL punter at full extension after the kick with his foot up near his head. This is what happens in hip replacement surgery. After they dislocate the ball joint, the surgeon can just flip the leg up by the patient's head since it's only flesh holding the leg to the trunk. I swear it was like seeing the gaping bowels of hell opening up. If, you know, hell was full of fat (which I'm convinced it is). Watching the femur pop out of what looked like a large bowl of yellow oatmeal is still the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. The girl next to me had to run to the bathroom to throw up.

[junkie]

Let's list reasons NOT to lose weight. (http://www.naafa.org/documents/brochures/nextdiet.html)

JESUS!




So yea, just stay fat and unhealthy. Eventually, the world will have to accept you.

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1600011/

This woman should the posterchild for NAAFA. I'd feel bad for her if she weren't so insecurely proud and arrogant about being fat.

[bondbabe]

One day while reading Chuck Shepherd's syndicated column "News of the Weird" in the Austin Chronicle, the last article caused to me stop. Here is the insert verbatim:

A 64-year-old overweight woman in Hartsville, Tenn., entered a hospital several months ago for surgery on what doctors said was a tumor on her buttocks, but what doctors found instead was a 4-inch pork chop bone, which they removed. They estimated it had been in place for "five to 10 years," but the woman had no recollection of having sat on it.

WTF? Huh? What in the hell was this woman doing naked whereby she could have sat on a pork chop bone to begin with? And it stuck to her ass! How do you not feel something sticking to you? And for five to 10 YEARS.

I have kept a copy of this article for 15 years as no one believes me that this was an actual printed story.

[Sanku]

You Iowa Hawkeye (http://gohawks.ytmnd.com/) fans have been holding back, there has to be ton of tales.

[Interested Party]

My best fat person story is here (http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=98525&postcount=142).

There is are also tales, possibly apocryphal, about the following exchange which is said to have taken place at Random Large County Hospital.
[INDENT]Shocked male ob resident (to 600lb plus patient): But how did someone get you pregnant?
Patient: Sure as hell wasn't no skinny-ass, short-dick white boy like you!

Did meet one patient, only about 500lb, whose sisters had held her legs apart so her husband could gain access and get her pregnant. Scary visual.

[Vancha]

"2005 NAAFA convention a huge success!"

Anyone else see the irony in that quote? I don't care if it was intentional I almost killed myself laughing.

[lizilulu]

You Iowa Hawkeye (http://gohawks.ytmnd.com/) fans have been holding back, there has to be ton of tales.

JESUS! My brother attended the U of I for two years and I visited him many times...and the campus is in general a place for fairly thin people. My brother does have a couple of stories of his fat friend getting alcohol poisoning, but Flip isn't all that heavy...

I suppose that's what happens when you have Paul Revere's breadsticks every night after drinking Keystone Light until you're buzzed (bleh...).

My own stories:

1. I'm not going to go into very much detail, for I'm sure that you all have very active imaginations and can invision this yourselves. I worked as a hostess at an Applebee's during the All-you-can-eat riblet promotion. Nothing spells nightmare like trying to manage a waitlist on a Friday night and you have 20 parties of fat people in a hurry to stuff their faces with pork fat. If it weren't for the fact that ribs already make me sick, I wouldn't be able to eat them after this.

2. I'm a student at Drake University, which is a moderately-expensive private school in a very sketchy neighborhood in Des Moines. The closet place to buy groceries off campus is a Walgreens that also attracts the neighborhood's finest. I went to the pharmacy today to get a prescription filled and had to wait for an hour...this provided me plenty of time to watch all sorts of morbidly obese people shuffle through to pick up their diabetes medication and put it in their cart...with their three boxes of ice cream bars, assorted Chef Boyardee items and other foods that they probably should NOT be eating if they're diabetic. By the time my Prevacid was ready, I thought I was going to be sick.

[bcarlzson]

You remember that line in goonies where chunk goes, "I just saw the most amazing thing!" and mouth goes, "even more amazing then the time you ate your weight in godfathers pizza?" well i just about witnessed that in college.

During the summer I would live with my buddy in the cheapest apartments we could find, one of which was in east st paul in total section 8 housing. There was a godfathers about a half a mile away with a $4.99 all you can eat buffet. We would go there at least once a week until one time we were in line and I turned to say something to my buddy when I saw what to this day was the most disgusting thing. This lady was about 5'1 had to weigh close to 300lbs and was wearing fucking grey spandex.

Now if she was sporting a full body suit that would have been bad, but nope she's just wearing the bra and short combo, with her guy hanging out. We were both speechless and didn't move at first, which was a bad idea because we were between her and her 1st love, pizza. She stacked her plate with about 12 slices and then went and dumped ranch dressing all over it.

I was disgusted so i sat down with 2 slices and didnt plan on eating either of them. Then the worst happens, this fat delievery driver walks in, goes over to her, gives her a kiss on the cheek and goes, "honey did you remember to tell them to give you the spouse discount?"


I haven't eaten at godfathers since.

[Dallas]

I had to come out of lurking for this thread. I just couldn't help but share this little gem:

Cedar Point
Ohio (and as a matter of generalization, most of the midwest) has gigantic fucking people. I come from preppyville, USA in Connecticut and thankfully have avoided seeing this for most of my life. Then I came here to go to my university.

Let me tell you a tale of the most amazing and horrifying Ohio restraunt chain: Tee Jayes Country Place. The food is amazing. Open 24 hours. Great prices. For 3.99 you get a "Barnyard Buster", which is two eggs, country fries, and a fresh biscuit all smothered in sausage gravy. Pure heartstopper stuff. Yesterday my friend and I drove down there for a sunday brunch at about say, 2 or 3. We are immediately greeted by the largest waitress I've seen in my entire life. She looks like the stunt double for violet beauregard from the first willy wonka movie. Completely round from her neck to her ankles in both directions. The woman is at least 400-450. She comes over to us and tells us in a voice that can only be that of a 60 year old smoker to "grab a seat cutie, any place that's free." Had I not seen the jowls on her neck swaying back and forth as she waddled around the counter I would have guessed that she had an electronic voicebox.

Finally sitting down and chatting a bit, my friend suddenly whispers to me "Jesus Dallas, do you realize we're two of 3 people in this entire restraunt under 350 pounds?". I take a look for myself, and he's right. Save for a frail 90-year-old old man on the verge of his final stroke out to lunch with his horribly overweight wife we were the only "thin" people. And suddenly I noticed something else. My friend had apparently been a little too loud when he whispered this to me, and several of the patrons are eyeing me hungrily. I polish off most of my barnyard buster as fast as I can and bolt before the fatties can finish off their three plates apeice. I'm not kidding about that. (First, think about a country sized portion--They don't skimp) More than 3/4 of the room had at least 3 plates full of main courses, not appetizers or side dishes. All of which are covered in cups and a half of sausage gravy. Some have an extra cup or two on the side.

For a final laugh, as we are leaving this old woman is parking her car--the tiggermobile. A 1998-ish silver mustang with blue trim...covered in every single form that is imaginable, in orange and black striped tiggers. As in "Tigger" from whinny the pooh. On the decklid, on the spoiler, the door handles, vinyl markings on the roof, and a Tigger umbrella on the antenna. By far, the most god awful abomination of a car I've ever seen. On the plus side, we did manage to get some faux "livestrong" bracelts for a buck that have "Tee Jayes" imprinted on them. The memorys made will last forever.

[The Good Doctor]

Every day when I leave work, I walk across the breezeway to the parking garage and climb one flight of stairs to reach my car. The parking garage is only 5 stories tall. There is no reason to ever use the elevator, unless you have trouble walking or are carrying a large load.

"LARGE LOAD" DOESN'T MEAN YOUR FAT ASS. I saw not one, but two women weighing in at a grand total of at least 600lbs waddle into an elevator on the ground level just as I was hitting the first stair. It was like watching two marshmallows squeeze into a matchbox. And they ended up on the second level at the exact same time I did, minus the minimal amount of exercise that they so desperately need.

YOU GOTTA BE FINGERING ME. Stairs were MADE for people with fat asses. It's like the revolting blobs you see circling the parking lot at Costco, hoping for the closest spot, when we all know that what they need is MORE WALKING.

You know, I have always enjoyed a good joke at the expense of fat people, but I also would tell myself in the back of my mind, "You know, this poor guy/gal probably can't help it. A life time of poor eating habits and now it's just too hard to change the way they eat". Right. After college, I took inventory of myself and realized I had gained about 15lbs that I didn't want. I didn't get fat, but I've got a thin, sickly man's frame and that's where I'm comfortable at - so I changed my eating habits. And you know what I found? IF YOU HAVE ANY WILLPOWER AT ALL, IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO LOSE WEIGHT. That's my problem with fat people. It's that they KNOW they're fat, they KNOW there is a social stigma attached to it, they KNOW it's unhealthy, they KNOW it's unattractive, they KNOW what the solution is and they're too EFFING LAZY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, SO ALL OF US NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE TO ADJUST OUR LIVES TO ACCOMODATE THESE SLOTHFUL, PATHETIC PEOPLE.

[kissntell]

The other day, I was waiting to take the bus to school and the most massive woman I have ever seen in person wedged herself into the bus stop carrying a SHOPPING BAG full of Hostess cupcakes. As soon as she sat down, she tore into it, ripping the cupcakes out of the cellophane and cramming them in her mouth whole. I watched her for about a minute and a half, in shock, and she must have eaten at least a dozen. I had to get up and leave before I either threw up or laughed right in her face. The best part, when the bus came, it "kneeled" down for her, like they do for disabled or old people, and when she got on, it sank even farther. I didn't think they were going to be able to get it up again. That woman was a walking question and answer, the question being "How the hell did you get so goddamn fat?"

I also used to work at McDonald's, so I've seen some pretty disgusting things. The worst though, was the summer we had 99 cent quarterpounders on Wednesdays, and the same couple used to come in every week, order 21 of them, and then sit in the lobby and eat every single one (10 for her, 11 for him), before piling into their Geo Metro. Between the two of them, they had to weigh significantly more than the car.

[jamaicaphooey]

I was at a training session for a job once (call center work), and this morbidly obese woman started getting up from the computer across the aisle from me. She stumbled and started tumbling over in my direction, and my life started flashing before my eyes. I thought she was going to fall on me, and I knew that would likely mean severe disability for a good portion of my life.

I don't know how, but she was able to redirect herself before actually doling out a crushing blow, and (along with me pushing myself to the furthest corner of my workstation) only wiped out my computer. Only after realizing my luck of not getting crushed by this mammoth of a woman did I realize just how funny the event was, and practically bit my tongue off trying not to bust out in laughter. I mean, funny - yes, but it did kind of hurt her a little bit.

[Foreigner]

Me and a buddy was at McDonalds eating and chatting away.. And then we see this child, he was maybe 5 years old, tops. And he was insanely fat, he was just rings of fat, over and over. And we simply stare in amazement, he's eating every last part of his meal, and yeah this is no god damn Happy Meal. This is the lardass combomeal, supersize style with an extra cheesburger.

Then, he starts demanding icecream from mommy (whose also a fatty, worthy of recognition). She accepts, but tells him to go and play some. The kid kinda grunts (but looks pretty exited) and starts wobbeling towards the stairs leading to the slide, he finally gets up and rides the slide. He decides playing and moveing is for suckers and return to the table to devour his icecream, I mean it, it was in his belly in two seconds.

That kid is so fucked.

[RileyAZ]

Me and a buddy was at McDonalds eating and chatting away.. And then we see this child, he was maybe 5 years old, tops. And he was insanely fat, he was just rings of fat, over and over. And we simply stare in amazement, he's eating every last part of his meal, and yeah this is no god damn Happy Meal. This is the lardass combomeal, supersize style with an extra cheesburger.

Then, he starts demanding icecream from mommy (whose also a fatty, worthy of recognition). She accepts, but tells him to go and play some. The kid kinda grunts (but looks pretty exited) and starts wobbeling towards the stairs leading to the slide, he finally gets up and rides the slide. He decides playing and moveing is for suckers and return to the table to devour his icecream, I mean it, it was in his belly in two seconds.

That kid is so fucked.


That shit pisses me off!

It is ojne thing to fuck up your own life and eat your way to death but to allow you child to become fat ata young age is child abuse.

I know there are some families where there is somehting wong and it is hereditary but there are even more cases where the mom and dad are lazy fat asses and fomr some reason think it is Ok to tortuntr the kids.

I was watching wife swap there other night and one of the wives was the big white trash porker...She gets to her "new home" and when it is her turn to take over she goes and buys the healthy kids a ton of shit to eat...and yes, her own kids were fat too.

[lucy]

Fat man in Indianapolis story...

This guy didn't happen to live in the Fountain Square area, did he? If he did, I think I taught his son, who is easily the fattest person I have seen with my own eyes.

This kid started middle school weighing in at 350 pounds (as a sixth grader) but weighed close to five hundred pounds as an eighth-grader. He gained almost 150 pounds in middle school. I had to give him a pass to the nurse when he needed to use the restroom because he had to use a special reinforced fat person toilet as he broke one of the normal ones when he was a seventh-grader.

He couldn't fit in a normal desk or a normal cafeteria table and his extreme weight broke at least four chairs in the time that he was in my class. Gym class and stairs were things he didn't have to deal with, as he had a doctor's excuse on file that he couldn't handle too much exertion. He got to sit on the bleachers during gym and had a key to the elevator. He was also the loudest breather I have ever heard. It didn't matter how loud the class was, I could always hear him breathe.

After seventh grade, he refused to go on field trips if there was any walking involved. His last field trip was to the zoo. Half a day into it, one of my co-workers found him crying. When she asked him what was wrong he said he couldn't walk any more because it hurt to much. His thighs rubbed together and created a rash so bad that he was bleeding.

Any way, according to the school nurse, his dad outweighed him by about 200 pounds. I never saw his dad because he couldn't leave the home, but I guess he died before this kid's freshman year of high school.

[Tree Hate Me]

When I was fifteen I got my first job at the local Wendy's. I lasted all of two weeks, and this is the story behind my resignation.

Late one night a rather large man came waddling across the parking lot from the BoSa Donut shop next door. He was licking his fingers as he approached our store. I can only imagine how many donuts he had put down over there.

Gigantor could barely fit through the door. The guy must have weighed at least 600 pounds. There was no way in hell he'd seen his dick since the Carter administration.

After placing his order and receiving his food, the man plopped down on two chairs (one for each cheek) and spent the next half hour destroying five Big Classics with cheese, three large fries, a large Pepsi, a large Frosty, and had made two trips through the Super Bar (R.I.P.) for good measure. When he was finished Gigantor wiped his face as best he could and made his way to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, another customer came up to the counter.

"The door to the men's room is locked, and it has been for awhile. I think there's something wrong with whoever is in there."

The manager went and knocked on the door.

Gigantor: "I'll be out in a minute."

Five minutes passed. By this time the dining room was closed. He knocked again.

Gigantor: "I'm almost done."

Ten minutes later he sheepishly came out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the exit as fast as a man of his size could move. He muttered a "Sorry" over his shoulder and vanished into the night.

The manager poked his head into the bathroom. When he came back behind the counter he was pale as a ghost.

"I'm going to need to call a plumber. Brian, get the mop."

It was just my luck as "the new guy" at Wendy's my job included cleaning the bathrooms at closing time.

Entering that restroom was my own personal tsunami.

A half inch of water was on the floor, and the stench was terrible. The toilet was overflowing with shit. Apparently the guy just hovered over the bowl and shat everywhere. The feces was tan. It was nutty. It was runny. It looked like giant curly fries.

I quit on the spot.

[MotorCity]

The worst thing I have witnessed was at some dive bar/club nearme. We went to knock back a couple of Labatts so it was convenient. I will never forget this though. You know how at some bars they wrap the burger in the wax paper. Well this lady (had to be near 350) was chomping on one out in the middle of the dance floor. Yeah, while Marky Mark and the Funk Bunch was playing.

She was eating while dancing.

First off, who the fuck plays Marky Mark? Second, who takes anything on the floor with them…ok, maybe a drink once in a while, but not a fucking cheeseburger. She was gyrating and sliming all around.

[The Good Doctor]

Question on the subject: What is the slang term for when a woman's gut sticks out farther than her tits? We were trying to remember it at work the other day, when someone brought up a woman's "gunt". If you know the word, just PM it. Dont get everyone off track.

FOCUS: A couple of years ago I was at a bar for lunch. The bar had booths around the outside, but only tables and chairs in the middle. To be able to cram more people into the bar, all the legs on the tables and chairs are very close together, and aren't the most stable.

A 400+ pounder came in with a lunch party and it was a busy day, so only the tables were available. The fat woman, who should have used two chairs, decided instead to balance her nearly four foot wide ass on a single rickety chair. I could feel it coming. She had been seated no more than five minutes when the chair disintegrated under her weight and sent her crashing to the floor with a righteous bellow. Everyone was pretty embarassed for her.

I just decided to leave, since I couldn't stop laughing long enough to have a conversation.

[Jillian]

This story was told to me when I was about 8 years old so the details are a little vague, but it's stuck with me for 12 years and I still feel like vomiting when I think of it. My friend's mom was a nurse at a local hospital (probably 15-20 years ago) and one day, a woman of about 500 pounds came in with multiple health problems, including a pretty bad infection with an unknown source. One day, my friend's mom had the unlucky duty of giving the woman a sponge bath. During the bath she lifted up one of the woman's many fat rolls to discover the source of the infection...a half eaten grilled cheese sandwich. Apparently the woman had fallen asleep while eating the sandwich and it got lost in her fat and stuck in there for a while to create this infection. I can't even imagine the smell/sight. Disgusting.

[Sienna_Detests]

When I was a kid, I used to stay up at my friend's place all the time. My friend and her sister were rather spoilt and from a young age, became extremely fussy and wouldn't eat ANYTHING that was fresh/healthy/not deep fried.

When I stayed over, I'd eat normal meals with their parents at the dinner table (much to their delight) whilst the fatty boombas ate in the television room. I'd join them afterwards.

Those girls would eat the following at dinner and nothing else:
Hot chips/fries, potato gems, sauce, sausage rolls (pastry only. They'd give the meat to the dog who was also fat), and they'd eat pizza but would pick off the vegetables or any tomato bits.


All three of us used to be tall and slim. Now they are so big whenever I see them, I seriously pity them. They're tall AND fat which makes them look so much bigger.

My parents saved us kids with their humdrum meat and three veg dinners. If we didn't eat what they cooked, we had to sit at the table anyway and watch.

[Mongoloid]

That kid is so fucked.

You mean this kid?

[pleasekillme]

You mean this kid?


Please tell me that's a body suit. Jesus Christ...

[Traffic Goddess]

I was in the ER one night to take a report. There was an RN working that is one of the most unflappable people that I have ever known. I'd watched her serveral times when she never even batted an eye at some of the goriest shit that would have me screaming for the exits.

Imagine my surprise when I saw this nurse as she bolted out of an exam room and proceeded to puke all over the hallway.

After she was cleaned up, I just had to satisfy my morbid curiousity to find out what caused this nurse to finally lose it. She was doing an intake exam of a woman that was so large that she had to be placed on a special gurney. The woman had come in to the ER complaining of chest pain. The exam revealed that she had an infected wound under one of her breasts that was infested with vermin. Apparently, it was too much trouble for this woman to bathe properly and she had been wearing this bra for so long that the underwire broke through and went into her breast. The nurse was in the process of attempting to peel off this putrid mess that was once a bra when the combination of the odor and the sight just overwhelmed her.

When I left, they were discussing how to move her into an area that they could hose this woman off.

I've gotten a lot of questions about what vermin this woman had, so I wanted to clarify:

This fucking pig had the trifecta...cockroaches, maggots and lice. They also found some ringworm. I recognized her from one of the places we called the "Habitrail" because the apartment building was so filled with shit that it was like a maze and it stank of rodent and wino urine. We went there so often that we had a routine down pat. There were large rubber bands kept on the gear shifts of each patrol car. When we would get a call to go there, we would put a rubber band around the cuff of each pant leg to hold it tightly to the boot. This way, the cockroaches can't crawl up your pants. When we would come back outside, we would jump up and down a few times to dislodge any of the little bastards that tried to hitch a ride and escape.

Now, imagine that fat bitch not bathing for so long that her underwire grew into her breast in THAT house.

[Furikuchan]

Gotta share this one. This could actually be an inspiration to fat people.
Back in high school, I shared a bus seat with a guy ironically named Rhett Butler. This had to be come cruel joke on the kid, because he was somewhere around 400 pounds. I literally had to run to the bus at the end of classes every day to make sure I got there before he did so I could actually have room to sit down. Thank GOD I got on the bus before he did in the mornings...
Well, oddly enough, me and Rhett became sort of kind of friends, enough that I figured out what was the problem here. Rhett really was one of those happy minority of people that really is fat thanks to an overactive pituitary gland. You know, what the lazy fat people blame themselves on? I saw some old pictures of him, and he looked like he was 21 at age 13. Full beard and everything. There were also some other things wrong with his head, bad seratonin levels and such, so that he was always sleepy during the day. Give the boy night classes, and he was a genius, but he had trouble passing school because his body was telling him to sleep during the day! Basically, it was rather obvious that something in his brain was wired wrong.
Anyway, got off track here. There are worlds of difference between biologically screwed up people like Rhett and the lazy fuckers out there. Rhett never ate all that much, but he was built huge. Well, when it's an actual pituitary gland problem, he comes with tons of muscle, too. Most frightening thing in the world is watching a man that big move sharply, suddenly, and with proficiency. Yeah, he's big, but he knows exactly where he's going, and there's no way in hell anything is stopping him. For you wrestling fans, you ever watch Paul White, the Giant, really move in the ring? That kind of scary.
The people that stuff their faces and whine that life's unfair could learn a thing or two from Rhett. He lives as normal and as active a life as he can. As he put it, "No, I'm not getting any smaller, but I gotta make sure I don't get any BIGGER."

[NoDaiquiriForYou]

This image will be forever ingrained in my mind:

I must have been 12 when we went to Hershey park. Waiting in line for a rollercoaster, they instructed my dad (6'5 250lbs) to get into a special row for larger people. He looks in front of him to see 3 teenagers trying to STUFF a woman into the seat and get the harness to lock over her. She was at least 400 lbs. After about 15 minutes of heaving her rolls around the harness, it finally locked. The whole time she was complaining about being humiliated in front of everyone in line and everyone "should stop making a big deal out of it." What a pig.

The worst part is my dad had to sit in the seat the next time around. He just about pissed himself.

[RedMafia]

I work at a Subway so I get to see all the people who think they are going the next Jared, but really are doomed to a life of being fat. Two people come to mind.

First, a couple came in one day, both above the 400lb mark. They come in, look over the menu and ask, "where are them healthy subs?" I point them to the menu panel that has all our low fat subs on them.

Fat Man: "hmmm...I think I'll take a turkey, a chicken, and a ham sub."
Me: "Okay...those will be six inches right?"
Fat Man: "No no no...footlongs please...and make them all double meat."
Fat Woman: "I'll take a BBQ rib and a meatball."
Me: "Well those aren't on the low fat menu." I am a nice guy.
Fat Woman: "Oh..hahah..I'm not a diet, he's the one with the high cholesterol, I'm healthy as a horse."

Second incident was completely shocking anyone would be in such denial about a weight problem.

A woman came in again close to the 400 mark. She had a piece of paper with her and announced she needed a few subs. I didn't think anything of it, people come in all the time with lists for their office or what not. She gets through the order which totalled 4 footlong subs. She gets to the end of the line puts down her list to dig through her purse, pays and goes on her way. A couple of minutes later after taking care of a few more customers I go out to grab a drink and I see the paper laying next to the register. I pick it up, and it's a grocery list. The lady made a make believe list to justify buying so much food to stuff her face with.

[Kenzie]

I once had a job where I sold wedding gowns. I met some of the worlds fattest women there. It's not a cliche that fat girls marry tiny guys. It's a very real fact of life. It's quite bizarre. These humongous size 26W + women would come in to get a wedding gown, at some point, the fiancee would come into the store. Many times, this man was small, especially when in comparison. She = 5'11", 350 lbs, He = 5'8", 14 lbs when soaking wet. It boggles my mind.

This one day, a woman comes in and has an appointment. She had Mom and Grandma and Aunt Trudy and her cousins and her best friend with her too. I watched this woman walk to the fitting area with her consultant, aghast. She smelled like she just left Hardee's and ate 2 thickburgers on her way to the store. She waddled, not like a duck but like a seal. Just kind of shifting side to side and letting the centrifugal force move her. She sat on the couch and took up half of it. She was set up near where I was working. I saw her break a sweat while someone else dressed her. It was too much exertion for her to lift her arms over her head and have someone else take her clothes on and put new ones on her.

She had on a size 54DD bra, with about three extenders in it. There were still rolls of fat hanging over it. A size 26W gown would not zip up on her. She appeared to jiggle a bit when she breathed, I am still not sure of that was my imagination or not. The girl who worked with her swore up and down that she had a bucket of KFC in her "purse". The dresses she tried on were left behind with a residue that can only be described as body soil. The bra was wet. Yummy.

I don't understand how she was getting married.

[loki]

I used to " shadow" doctors in my undergrad.

I had the same privilege. One of the more disgusting things I saw was a 500 pound man who had started lactating from his man boobs. He was a chronic glue sniffer and incapable of cleaning himself, so it just dribbled down his chest causing mould growth.
The smell was the most disgusting thing I've ever encountered.

[Ol Dirty Bastard]

I was out with some friends who were smoking- this BIG lady and I do mean BIG, maybe 300 lbs + walks up to us and says I hope you know that your 2nd hand smoke is killing me and everyone else around you. I tell her without missing a fucking beat.... lady it looks like McDonalds will be the death of you way before 2nd hand smoke gets you. She started to get all pissy, and I told her to fuck off.

[Phencyclidine]

You mean this kid?
Anyway, just one question: I've lived in Europe all my life and never seen people on the scale of what you guys are describing (can't get through doors etc.). Are they reserved for America?
Between those two posts, I just had to post this one. McDonalds seems to be the constant in the fat equation.

[mav_ian]

One of the more disgusting things I saw was a 500 pound man who had started lactating from his man boobs.

HOLY SHIT! That's possible?

I'm sorry I can't think of any fat person stories that can match any of these, but I need to voice how much this thread has shot to shit all I thought about what is biologically possible.

The only thing I can think of is I guy I used to catch the bus with (actually a van labelled a 'bus'). The bus rocked as he got on, and would sway around corners. He seemed like an otherwise alright guy and I was told his problem was possibly glandular, but he worked as some I.T. type guy, which isn't as common a theme here as I thought it would be.

[selfish]

I saw was a 500 pound man who had started lactating from his man boobs.


You didn't get pictures? WTF?

[Jevers]

When I was 14 or 15, I was in Boy Scouts, and we went to camp for one week every summer. There was a boy in our troop who was a few years younger than me, and he was about 250 lbs and all of 5 feet tall.

He was completely against using the community showers that were available to us, and so he went the whole week with only one shower, but he justified it by saying that he went swimming in lake every day, and that was the same as a shower. He also only brought two changes of clothes with him, and a pair of swim trunks and that was supposed to last his fat ass a whole week at camp, with no a/c in the middle of July. Needless to say, he stunk pretty bad by the end of the week.

But even worse than the fact that he stunk from b.o., he literally shit on himself one night. He had gone to the latrine to crap in the middle of the night, and apparently got a good deal of it on his pants instead of in the provided hole. When he went back to his tent, he threw his shitty pants down on his cot AND HE FUCKING SLEPT ON IT. In the morning one of the adults that was with us had to take his cot out and hose it down to get most of the shit off of it, and he also sprayed off the pants because there was no washing machine available. On the last day when we were getting ready to leave, he wore those same pants again, and the still had the shit stains on them.

[BigWig]

A woman that works in my office has some condition caused by her being so fat, her legs got SUPER fatty and gross like sacks of lumpy dough. She told me she has circulation problems and it hurts for her to walk so she can't exercise very much.(yeah whatever) The gross part is during lunch break when she's usually shoveling down her leftover steaks or half a pizza she brings, she lifts her stretchy pants up so she can unwrap the bandages she has on her sick calves. Then she rubs this medical cream into her cottage cheese legs. That's a great sight, and the smell, if you're lucky enough to have to walk by at the time, is a mix between Neosporin and going to the lake.

[Fenxis]

I work at a Subway so I get to see all the people who think they are going the next Jared, but really are doomed to a life of being fat. Two people come to mind.

Sure Jared ate lunch and dinner at Subway but the unpublcized key to his weight loss was getting off his ass and starting to exercise. The unspoken reality is that subs like the tuna & meatball are are worse than you than a Big Mac (especially with all the mayo/ranch sauces added), and that is in the 6 inch variety.

Fake healthy food like subway/'fiesta' chicken salads at restaurents/etc piss me off than generic crap food. At least then you know you are f'd.

And to add a fat person story.. a couple of years ago I was on a tour where we had to get onto a school bus for a bit. Behind me was a woman; upper arms were 3x larger than the forearms due to fat, no sign of elbows or kneecaps, etc. As she sat weezing for air on the bench all she could utter was "I haven't managed to do that since I was in school." All because of 3 steps.

[CynicalMagician]

The best term I've heard for fatties in denial that wear tight pants and midriff revealing tops are 'muffin tops'. If you dont get it, think about it.

Focus: A girl I went to highschool with was a hefty and bitchy gal with all the usual symptoms of being a fat pig (stench, poor fashion sense, etc). She played clarinet in the band and once we were playing a concert for one of the local elementary schools. Mary walks into the gymnasium in front of 500 kids and sits down on one of the tiny elementary school sized chairs. It immediately breaks, the gym erupts into laughter, and she runs out of the room crying. I don't know how we got through that concert.

Another time she broke her ankle when she stepped out of a car. I wasn't there, but I sure laughed when I heard about it.

[Slutcakes]

This happened 3 weeks ago:

I was driving down 95 South coming back from a great weekend at the lake, when I suddenly notice in the left lane a small car, and who is in the passenger seat but......

...a grotesque looking fat woman, about 24 or so, with 5-6 french fries stuck up her nose! I am not bullshitting you. The best part was the O-Beastess had no expression on her face!

I quickly turned away, horrified, and quickly switched two lanes to avoid the horror. Then I just bursted out laughing.

This caused my brain to ponder the following questions:

What happened to the fries after? Did she toss them out the window?? on the floor? Did she eat them? Did she then proceed to shove them up another orifice? Did her equally distusting friend/sister/lover who was driving do the same?

Was this simply a self-deprecating attempt at humor of being a fat slob who frequences McDonald's 12 times a week?

I've been mooned, flashed, and cursed while driving, but this one takes the cake (no pun intended.)

[Typical]

Before my friend joined the military he drove an ambulance, he has many funny tales from those days.
I have yet to decide whether or not to call bullshit on this- but here goes.
(if you're easily disgusted, this is a do-not-read)

He got a call to go to a not-so-nice part of town to help a woman who was having abdominal pains. He was confused as to why she couldn't just come to the hospital if she was only experiencing that symptom.
When he got to the apartment and knocked on the door, no one came- so they entered the place anyways.
There she was in all her glory, a morbidly-obese woman lying in her bed in a nightie.
He pressed on her stomach to find where the source of the pain was coming from, and all she kept saying was "lower", until ... well.. you can imagine the depths he had to go.
He reached up, and behold- out came a chicken bone... followed by a stream of what he could only describe as "puss."
The lady was so fat, she had been eating a bucket of chicken in bed, and somehow got one lodged up her... cavity...

The story made me gag, how could you not know you've got a chicken bone in your vagina?

[Domino]

I work at a private member hospital and at one point was a security guard there at age 18. It was lame, but simplex so I decided, "why not?" One day a friend and I were called to the second floor due to a patient becoming belligerent. It wasn't a cool Tucker Max belligerent, it was more of an obese-fueled-I'm-pissed-off-I'm-alive temper tantrum. However, what we didn't know was that this obese man was a diabetic who didn't take care of himself, his blood sugar, or anything else he should be taking care of that was of anatomical importance. When we opened the door we about fell over from the disgusting rotting-flesh odiferous eminations of his gang green. His leg was literally rotting off and was quite literally green in all respects. If you've never smelled the wonderland of odor such a condition causes on a human being, you haven't lived.

I immediately left the area, my friend however was too late and ended up projectile vomiting all over the floor. Needless to say, the guy was just asked to leave, and did so luckily without question. Ewwwwwww.....

[PsychoNinjaGirl]

Nothing bugs me more than when a fatass tries to sit next to me on the bus, and their chunky rolls are spilling onto my lap. One particular whale of a woman tried to step off of the bus after smothering me with her sweaty flab and- in a comical, obese-person fashion, became lodged between the two mechanical doors at the back of the bus. After wrestling with the door for a good 30 seconds (nobody wanted to touch her; she was wearing a paisley muumuu and sweating a mess in the 40 degree weather), she burst out of the bus and landed flat on her face. It was as if a tidal wave surged through her thighs or something... the fat just wouldn't stop rippling under her dress.

That image is permanently etched into my brain.

[Tucker Max]

Sent to me via PM:


Tucker,

I just reread through the "I wash myself with a rag on stick" thread and it brought back a deluge of memories. For three years I had become friends with some of the people within my major especially one named M... At the time M.. was around 350 lbs and had a generally decent attitude about life. He was about 6'5" so his weight held well and it didn't completely limit his mobility. He'd even make the occassional joke about it and all was well.

That changed, however, when towards the end of graduate school he decided to move into the empty room in my rent house. Now, during the period I had really gotten to know him and last spring (this was Feb-May 2005) he ballooned to upwards of 650 lbs. Simply put, he grew into three 18 year old female models. The problems at first seemed relatively small but grew progressively worse as time went on. Here's what occured:

When he moved into the house around late Jan. the overall mood was jolly as his attitude brought many laughs and some good times. Generally we'd sit in the living room and endulge in conversations about our coworkers, job, and interests before I went out. He would politely refuse to head out and decided to just play video games. Like clockwork he would pass out with a slice of pizza or some form of dinner and I would find him snoring, talking to himself while clutching the remains of his last bit of food. On nights i'd come home with some random chick and no matter what time or how quiet we were upon entering he would always notice. This would proceed to excite him as it was one of the few times he could interact with a woman he'd never known. In essence, I was cockblocked every single time because she would take one look at Jabba the roommate and get turned off or suddenly sober up. Needless to say, I had to go other places to hookup. The sight of his 650lbs frame lodged in a love seat dissauded many a mildly attractive sorority girl.

Regardless, on a daily basis i'd have to put up with the following:

A) Love advice from a man who had only one girlfriend in 28 years with whom he had a quasi-sexual relationship. He freely gave relationship advice as if he was the master of female charm. Needless to say he had no clue. The last times he had sex (about 200lbs prior) it was all paid for--by his dad.

B) Unusual smells eminating from his room. A majority of the fat people i've known have hygeine problems but this guy never showered or changed his clothes. In fact, he could hardly shower without great difficulty as his circumference protruded from the bathtub. He also just seemed to give up because of too many hard to reach places. He did break his toilet due to his weight and broke the replacement a few weeks later.

C) He kept going on and on about the love of his life who he asked on a date the night of our college's Fall graduation. She stood him up, yet his vision was blinded by dreams of carnal engagement and pastries. Somehow his asking her out made him above the rest of his friends because she had said yes. (She was generally a nice girl who I had known for a short time. She'd say yes to a hunchback if he asked just to not hurt its feelings.) This went on for a year and half and has never stopped. I even told him on several occasions that he was chasing the dragon, but it never bypassed the cookie-dough portion of his brain.

D) He spent a majority of his nights downloading and masturbating to anime porn. It got so bad that he would start to skip hours of his job just so he could get the latest download finished and he would finish himself off. The ideal woman, in his eyes, began to morph into the characters from the cartoons he watched.

E) The worst events occured after he submitted his PhD applications was rejected by every major school he applied to. When he would recieve a rejection notice I would come home to find him wallowing his sorrows in Popeyes (2, 12 piece boxes w/mashed potatoes). The boxes would remain next to him on the love seat for days. Soon these boxes would be buried underneath pizza and chinese takeout boxes as rejection letters kept coming in.

F) If we went out to eat as group we were restricted to places that didn't have chair with armrests. He literally could not fit into them. At some places he had his own special chair. As a general rule he could not fit into the two recliners we had at the house. They too did not fit his body type. It was sad because he almost became grafted to the loveseat I had. He even encompassed that piece of furniture almost filling it.

Granted, these aren't exactly funny stories but it charts the slow decline of a human blob that I considered a friend. Things started off fine at first but spiraled so far down hill that I got use to him blowing his rent money on food and ninja swords. On average he'd eat a $20.00 lunch, a $20.00 dinner, and about 5-6 bucks in snacks. My friends would refuse to visit my place after awhile because of the smell.

Have you honestly seen someone just give up this badly before? I've known the guy for some time and he gained well over 300 pounds. He stopped caring about his health and really became delusional about his role with women and generally acted as if he had experienced more than his other friends. Towards the end of the year, myself and my coworkers gave him an impromptu intervention in our shared office. He had been going on and on about hitting on girls in our departments Writing Center and we grew sick of it. Casually we mentioned the following: "Max, have you ever considered that most of the girls in there are just humoring you? They are just responding to you because they don't want to hurt your feelings because they're afraid you'll gorge yourself until you pop. We don't think that girl A or girl B is really interested in a 650 pound guy who only talks about himself or his sexual fetishes. Don't you think this creeps them out?" He was stunned into silence for quite awhile. It seemed that this had never crossed his mind. We blew the guy away with the most simplistic argument ever. For all those years of stuffing his face with three boxes of Chic-fil-A nuggets it never crossed his mind that he had tricked himself into believing that others merely tolerated him out of sympathy. His ego was just as big as his waistline.

On this note, I was wondering if the following could be used as a forum topic: We know you've made some harsh remarks towards others in the past, but have you or the board members ever said something that devastated a person's own outlook on themselves and their life? It could be anything from a simple quip to a detailed overview of that person's past.

[I know Tiny is a big guy but he has never even come close to this level of sadness. In fact I commend him on his lifestyle choice and his wanting to reduce his weight. When I first read his posts in other discussions I never looked down upon him. My ex-roommate needs to take a lesson from Tiny's playbook. As do most other fatties.]