I'm The Next Weird Al, Bitch!

[mrjake]

So, I was thinking about a song parody I partially wrote in college and I decided to finish it.
She our latest passion
She spreads as we please
She's all we think about in the classroom
And she takes it with ease

There's a hole in every locale
And with enough lube they're all great pal
One is kinda brown and two are kinda red
We're going push it on in, push it on in

Hey man, give her back to me!
Let's get her out
You gotta keep the bitch inflated

Hey man, she's my pop's blow up doll
Let's get her out
You gotta keep the bitch inflated

Hey we're runnin' out of time
If my dad comes home, he'll really lose his mind
Hey, but at least we're not gay!

Soon I'll scream like a siren
And you'll know it's too late
Your cock's in her ass and mine's in her mouth
What a way for us to masturbate

I'm about to blow like a thousand times before
Her head moves faster
And a nut I'm gonna score
Our neverending spree of lube and latex and tape
Is gonna make me blow, gonna make me blow...

Hey, at least we're not gay!Please, share your parodies with the class.

[Phencyclidine]

No.

[Original Al]

If you do post a parody, make sure to include what song is being parodied. That way people know what rhythm to read the words in, to have it sound right.

I always make short little parodies, about what im doing.


Allman Brothers - Ramblin Man

Lord I was born a scramblin man, trying to cook these eggs and doin the best I can.
When it comes to breakfast, I hope you'll understand that I was born a scramblin man.

Pretty lame, I know, but it's what I do to pass the time in my day.

[SuperJane]

Oh, MrJake, just imagine what freaks our offspring will be. Oh yes, strangely talented, weird-looking geeks.

Consider this fair warning: this is really, really nerdy. Perhaps even dorky. And it was not solely my effort -- several of us eggheads contributed.

"Summertime," from Gershwin's Porgy and Bess

Summertime
And your mom is easy
Men are jumping her
and your daddy is high
Oh her pimp is rich
For your mama's good-lookin
So hush, little baby
Don't you cry

One of these mornings
She's gonna rise up pregnant
Then you'll spread your legs
And you'll take many guys
But until that mornin
There ain't no one can bone you
With mom and her pimp daddy
Standin' by

Thank you, thank you. No, please, you're too kind.

[NapaTransplant]

Yeah, it's a work in progress, to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive":

I call it "ArtemisGeicoA1Cwhore"


At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I swear I didn't think
your fist would fit inside

We went from medieval pikes
To you neighbors eight foot bong
Maybe too long

I don't want crack
But I'll freebase
I want you to cum in me
Just not on my face

I just want a random guys cock
I'll even gangbang you all for free
I got no guarantee
You might contract 4 STD's

You know it, you know
You know I'm yours
Don't be a fool now
You know I'll be your dirty whore

Of course I won't complain when you blow it in my eye
Hell I won't grumble
If you call my pretty
I might lick your brown eye

You know that I
I might cry
Yeah, I'll give you all my love
I'll even eat my own cream pie
I'll do your wife and kids
Retards with the mumps and SIDS
Pound my brown eye
Yeah the brown eye

[Interested Party]

a Urology Song (tune-Man across the Water)

Put your hand on the gland of the man that can't make water!
Put your hand on the gland of the man that cannot pee!

(There was more but thankfully it has faded...)

[Lester]

to the tune of Purple Haze.

"Little Shuttle flying high,
why'd you blow up in the sky?
Pieces falling by and by,
let's give it another try.

Burnt up helmets, and a torn up shoe.
You can't fix that with Elmers glue.
Tax dollars at work discovering better boobs.
What else silicone can do?"

I got pelted and had to stop there.

[Zambonian]

In 10th grade a friend and I wrote a full version of a parody of "Summer of 69." This is all I can remember from that exciting science class.

I never liked straight sex much.
There never was a lot to do.
My wife sometimes gave me a blow job.
But that got boring, too.

Then I found a mistress who
Had a body just like Venus.
She showed me something new.
I ate her while she sucked my penis.

I'm glad I cheated on my wife....

She was so great, you shoulda seen her.
I never wanted it to stop.
She sucked me like a vacuum cleaner.
And swallowed every drop.

Lying in that motel bed,
Nothing in the world felt finer.
She just loved to give me head.
While I learned to lick her 'giner.

I'm glad I cheated on my wife....

Oh, yeah,
In the position of Sixty-nine, uh-huh.
I think there was at least one more verse.
I'm in the wrong line of work.

[-jess-]

My friend (who's half Mexican) and I were rewriting some Christmas carols last year.
My favorite is her verse from Feliz Navidad:

"I swam all the way across the river
I swam all the way across the river
I swam all the way across the river
To get
My green card!"

[Original Al]

I came up with this hit yesterday, while sitting at a red light and rocking out to simon and garfunkels greatest hits. An old fat bald nerdy lookin guy in a bright red porsche pulled up next to me reving his engine.

to the tune of bridge over troubled water:

You have no hair, you're dick is small
You are such a nerd, have no game at all
expensive ride and a fat gut
and chicks just can't be found

Like a nun or a bearded lady you will not get laid
Like a nun or a bearded lady you will not get laid

Not my best work, but for completely freestyling it, I'm pretty proud of myself.

[Bastardized]

I really don't know where this came from, I normally pride myself in not hearing the latest pop tunes. One day I hear "Holla Back Girl" and by the second time the chorus comes up I'm saying this:

"A few times I been on my back,
Givin' hand jobs for a little smack.
'Cause I am a fuckin' crack whoooore,
I am a fuckin' crack whooooore."

Need I say how much I dislike Gwen Stefani and her aborted "career?"

Sadly, I have a thousand full length parodies bouncing around in my head. If I had one marketable talent it would be the ability to completely rewrite a song as I listen to it. That's what I get for being exposed to Weird Al before being exposed to real music.

[SuperJane]

On the off chance that anyone I know reads the TMMB, this post will completely identify me.

To the tune of Amy Grant's "Baby Baby"

Baby baby
I'm sleeping with your mother
And just last night I fucked your little brother
Baby baby
Your mom hooks on the corner
To pay her I must get change for a quarter

Stop for a minute
Baby, I'm so glad she's cheap
Yeah, she's cheap

But ever since the day my nickel put your mom in motion
Baby I've realized that there is just no getting off with her

[Drunkamatized]

A friend and I wrote this during a free period, way back when at the beginning of High School. It fits the original, but was written to fit the Limp Bizkit cover of 'Faith'

Oh well I guess it would be nice
If i could roll a fatty
I know not everybody
Can roll these J's here like me

But I gotta think twice
Before I smoke my dope away.
And I know life's a game we play
So why bother with rules?

Oh, but I need some time off
From that sweet goodness
Time to pick myself up off the floor.
And when God comes down
Without a reason
Well I know I've O.D'd baby
But I gotta have some more

I gotta have weed.

I'm pretty sure there was another verse, but 'tis just another unfinished masterpiece, I'm afraid. Well, enjoy, I know we did.

[Charles Bronson Pinchot]

This is dedicated to the lovely young lady from the "Stick yo nuts in der" thread. It's to the tune of Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes.

Here I am, once again,
My shorts full of feces.
Can't deny I wear depends.
Just too much anal love.
Loosened up by three black guys.
The one named Tone fit both his nuts insiiiiide
the eye between my thighs.

<pop> <thooonk> BOOYAH!

[Surgeb2008]

I was getting ready for school the other day and this popped into my head.

Written to the tune of "ass and titties" by DJ Assault.

Crazy ass cracka always crackin' your whip,
why don't you just chill it? It's your cotton I pick.
Feed me one meal a day, i'm barely alive
but that be okay because i'm fucking your wife

She liked whips and chains
Whips and chains
Whips and chains